nadya

Why is it that no matter how shitty i might feel.. no matter how much hurt i may be going through.. no matter how much more I fucking deserve... people always find a way to make me feel like the bitch?.. to make me feel like the one in the wrong? I guess I let them. I let them because their feelings mean more to me than my own. Selfless, never call me otherwise. Practically a stranger and yet i swallowed my pride, wiped my tears and let him hear the words that he needed, "i'm sorry.. you're right.. you deserve better."
Why? because at this point i really don't care.. let him think i'm the bitch.. let him think i dont know how to treat people.. whatever. I'm tired of explaining myself.

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So I'm done. Take me out and check if I cooked through. Strike me stake first. Right into my chest like Elliot I go. I only feel warmth when i'm at home.

Because this struggle is getting the best of me.

Onto verse three.

Here's my hand. Take finger one and finger two and bend them around yours. For the rest of my life we'll fit together like this. Like I'm five again I'll hold onto your jacket sleeve. You lead.

Like I'm middle aged and desperate I'll leave lipstick on your collar. Maybe then you might consider me.

Down Down I go into my soul. And they take out the death from between my thighs so I always wonder why.

Here's to 19.
Here's to tears and death scares when all I want is to be dancing.

Under the blankets I point my toes.

Raped and bruised. You're my only memory of what it is to be happy.

Onto verse three.