Ever get the sense that the next time you drink excessively something really bad'll happen? I have that feeling. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel totally out of control.
I seem to blacking out faster than I used to, and that's extremely unsettling. It tells me that my will to be conscious is weakening. Maybe I gave myself brain damage from excessive partying.
Maybe I'm just terminally lonely.
I know this, though. I'm takin it easy in the realm of alcohol for a while. I've had too many blackouts and out of control incidents over the past few months while on alcohol. Alcohol's a fucked up drug, man. It gets me to do stupid things I'd never do while on any other drug.
I once went a whole summer without drinking because I partied too hard one night and woke up naked beside a girl who was also naked and for the life of me I couldn't recall what happened. All I knew is that my dick felt like she'd tried to break it off. So I quit drinking for a while.
I think I'm going to do that. I don't need to be doin' that shit right now. I have shit to live for, ya know? What do I have to live for? Love. Live to love and love to live.
...NO MORE SHAME...
The Guy on the Couch is playing some classic rock really loud on the TV in the living room. The windows and door are wide open. He's chillin' on the porch, enjoying the sun. I had to close my door because I can only take so much of that music. It's TOOL time, yo.
Peace,
msi.
I seem to blacking out faster than I used to, and that's extremely unsettling. It tells me that my will to be conscious is weakening. Maybe I gave myself brain damage from excessive partying.
Maybe I'm just terminally lonely.
I know this, though. I'm takin it easy in the realm of alcohol for a while. I've had too many blackouts and out of control incidents over the past few months while on alcohol. Alcohol's a fucked up drug, man. It gets me to do stupid things I'd never do while on any other drug.
I once went a whole summer without drinking because I partied too hard one night and woke up naked beside a girl who was also naked and for the life of me I couldn't recall what happened. All I knew is that my dick felt like she'd tried to break it off. So I quit drinking for a while.
I think I'm going to do that. I don't need to be doin' that shit right now. I have shit to live for, ya know? What do I have to live for? Love. Live to love and love to live.
...NO MORE SHAME...
The Guy on the Couch is playing some classic rock really loud on the TV in the living room. The windows and door are wide open. He's chillin' on the porch, enjoying the sun. I had to close my door because I can only take so much of that music. It's TOOL time, yo.
Peace,
msi.
figmentation:
when it doesn't work, you either break it more or fix it.
ignominy:
I could never give up drinking so close to Mothers' Day. God be with you. 