myraphim

It's been several months since I posted something here, but I guess I'm writing tonight as a little plea for attention and comfort.

Finally got through with the holiday season and I'm quite relieved. The store I work in has been without a manager for a good couple of months or more, so one other girl and I (the only key holders) have been working our asses off to hold everything together. Doing manager's work without manager's pay really sucks. But the worst is over, so we can kinda relax a little bit now and work on getting everything in good condition before inventory.

Life as a whole isn't where I want it to be right now. I'm taking a semester off from college so I can clear my head and stop being so damned burned out on school. I was majoring in English and doing a teacher cert program, but now I'm pretty sure that's not where I wanna be headed. Something about my main focus being on teaching students material for a standardized test rather than the essentials of English really irks me. Not to mention, I've already run into a lack of support with administration. I'm not even employed anywhere as a teacher and I'm already finding that my community and peers won't be much of a backbone. Perhaps this seems like the cowardly way out, but why would I want to spend the rest of my working life doing something that stresses me and puts all the work on myself?

I'd like to just get a simple office job. Something about that sounds very pleasing to me. I know it sounds like I'm lacking ambition or drive in life, but I'm more focused on finding the special someone I wanna settle down with. Having a family and a secure job just seems... so rewarding.

Hmm. Maybe one day...