myopically

fuckin' friday

how many times am i going to erase what i have written for the public eye?

honesty. that's a big fucking problem. being honest. i'm not even honest with myself. do you know what i am, what i did? the pain i cause. do you know how selfish i really am? you have no clue who i am. i'm not happy, i'm fucking miserable. i turned off my phone today. i want to talk to no one. i got into a fight with my roomate about who i fucking am. that's me dude. there's nothing i can do about it. i can't change for myself, so how the fuck am i going to change for you? maybe i'm just stupid. yeah, yeah, tell me about my good qualities, how short the fucking list is, it's all bullshit.
i'm a drug addict.
i'm an alcoholic.
i'm a manipulator.
i'm a liar.
i'm a theif.
i'm passive-aggressive
i'm butt ugly, inside and out.
i'm an angry sod.
i'm selfish.
i'm cynical.
i'm a piece of shit.

i don't give a fuck about you. it's all about me, and that ain't much.
i no longer laugh, cry, feel. i am stolid.
leave me alone. misery is my natural state.

hello, my name is jonathan, i am an addict.
rarely have we seen someone fail who has throughly followed our path...
let go and let god
one day at a time
half measures availed us nothing
we admited to ourself, to another person, and to god the exact nature of our wrongs
think, think, think.
12 step that shit right up your ass.