I've been dating someone since middle march of '13. She's distant, sometimes cold. She says she's not a passionate person by nature. But from time to time, she really is.
In many, many ways, we are very compatible. We have similar intellectual interests, a similar view on politics, religion and society. We share great conversations and walks in the park. And physically, she's everything I could or would want.
But she seems to think that, fundamentally, we are too different from each other to have a lasting relationship. Because I can sometimes be too affectionate by nature, and it makes her uncomfortable sometimes. She literally told me that I'm too snuggly sometimes...
What the hell does that mean?
Nine months in, and she's "on the fence" about us. It's a couple days away from 2014, and she's reevaluating if she actually wants to be in a relationship.
I thought I was doing all the right things. I've been loving and attentive, without being domineering. Passionate and curious about her life without being nosy. I've been supportive and listened to her when she needed it, even if she just needed to vent and rage about work. And I've tried very hard to just be a gentleman in general, buying/making/creating gifts for just the right moments, but without being a ridiculous (and potentially uncomfortable) Mr. Moneybags.
And, most importantly, I recognized that there were differences. But I honestly didn't think they were detrimental to the long-term viability of the relationship. Obviously she thinks differently.
This is the last time I'm going to try at a relationship, any relationship. If it don't work between she and I, I give up. I'll live alone as a hermit, because I'm tired of being hurt like this. Because that is how it goes with me. The ones I want end up not wanting me after finding some flaw between us.
I just can't have what I want. I need to live with that fact.