Today life fucking sucks...
If you don't want to listen to me bitch and moan about why my life in particular sucks then please stop reading this now...
OK you've been warned...
So I'm depressed. I want to kick and scream and even possibly rip the hair out of my head from frustration. I feel I have come to the end of one path and am now searching for the next to carry on with my journey. Choosing the correct path isn't always a fun or easy decision. Sometimes the right path lays before you and it's such a hard path to travel that you almost don't want to go that route even knowing it's what you need to do. I suppose that is where will power comes in to play... err... I don't fucking know. I do know this: I am not happy with my life and feel that I need to make drastic changes to feel more complete. Life altering changes that may even set me back instead of moving forward.
I feel I have lost my direction or have just found it and something blocks my path. I feel helpless and feel as if my life were spiraling out of control at times. My brain stays scattered as to preserve some kind of emotions. This mental fuck shop I deal with everyday is starting to make me go insane.
So I know what to do, it's just going to be a pain in the ass to do it. But in the end there will be happiness instead of grief. Adventure instead of routine. Love instead of mind games. Life can feel so overwhelming at times. One of these times is now for me. You feel like you just need an eternal hug from some one who cares. I hate feeling sad and lonely and depressed.
My new thing when I'm angry with life or myself is to smoke a cigarette as some kind of punishment to myself. It's more like an internal struggle. I've quit smoking for 5 months now so I feel like I'm ruining my good habit. Fuck it.
Goodnight everyone.
I promise to be smiling next time....
If you don't want to listen to me bitch and moan about why my life in particular sucks then please stop reading this now...
OK you've been warned...
So I'm depressed. I want to kick and scream and even possibly rip the hair out of my head from frustration. I feel I have come to the end of one path and am now searching for the next to carry on with my journey. Choosing the correct path isn't always a fun or easy decision. Sometimes the right path lays before you and it's such a hard path to travel that you almost don't want to go that route even knowing it's what you need to do. I suppose that is where will power comes in to play... err... I don't fucking know. I do know this: I am not happy with my life and feel that I need to make drastic changes to feel more complete. Life altering changes that may even set me back instead of moving forward.
I feel I have lost my direction or have just found it and something blocks my path. I feel helpless and feel as if my life were spiraling out of control at times. My brain stays scattered as to preserve some kind of emotions. This mental fuck shop I deal with everyday is starting to make me go insane.
So I know what to do, it's just going to be a pain in the ass to do it. But in the end there will be happiness instead of grief. Adventure instead of routine. Love instead of mind games. Life can feel so overwhelming at times. One of these times is now for me. You feel like you just need an eternal hug from some one who cares. I hate feeling sad and lonely and depressed.
My new thing when I'm angry with life or myself is to smoke a cigarette as some kind of punishment to myself. It's more like an internal struggle. I've quit smoking for 5 months now so I feel like I'm ruining my good habit. Fuck it.
Goodnight everyone.
I promise to be smiling next time....
french_frog:
Maybe you need a love letter?
