6 days until geneticworld gets here!! 
In other news, it's 7am and I really do not want to go to campus and teach. Last week I came home frustrated and crying because of them and I really really don't want to go back. I think I'm in the wrong profession. But how the hell do I change?? I feel like such a failure for not wanting to be here and not wanting to be in graduate school. I hate it. I hate my classes, I hate reading the stupid material, and for the first time ever I hate teaching. If I dropped out now I don't know if I'd ever be able to get back into grad school if I wanted to. The admissions process is not kind to those who have been out of school for some time. But I'm starting to think I need a day job that allows me to come home and read whatever the fuck I want, when I want, without having to always worry about what I'm going to do with what I read afterwards. Graduate school is a perpetual hell that just sucks you in and won't let you go. Work is never just DONE - ever. There is always more to be done, always the next thing that could be getting accomplished. I'm not sure I like that feeling. I know I'm smart... do I really need a PhD to legitimize it??
I think I'd make a cute receptionist. Maybe I could work like in a department office at a university. Then if I ever wanted to go back I'd kinda already have an "in".
I had to park my car on the street last night. I got home at 8:45pm and there were no spots in my fucking parking lot. I hope my car is ok out there - it's not the best neighborhood.
I feel sick to my tummy now. I think I wanna
Sorry this journal was such a downer... sometimes it happens.
UPDATE:
Okay, so those of you who have been reading my journal for awhile might remember the little incident I had with ROACHES a couple of months ago.... yeah, well, the exterminator came and they were gone. Or so I thought... cuz I just fucking FOUND ANOTHER ONE AND BASHED IT TO ITS DEATH!!!!!
I just emailed my landlord... I don't know wtf is up... I'm a clean person! 
In other news, it's 7am and I really do not want to go to campus and teach. Last week I came home frustrated and crying because of them and I really really don't want to go back. I think I'm in the wrong profession. But how the hell do I change?? I feel like such a failure for not wanting to be here and not wanting to be in graduate school. I hate it. I hate my classes, I hate reading the stupid material, and for the first time ever I hate teaching. If I dropped out now I don't know if I'd ever be able to get back into grad school if I wanted to. The admissions process is not kind to those who have been out of school for some time. But I'm starting to think I need a day job that allows me to come home and read whatever the fuck I want, when I want, without having to always worry about what I'm going to do with what I read afterwards. Graduate school is a perpetual hell that just sucks you in and won't let you go. Work is never just DONE - ever. There is always more to be done, always the next thing that could be getting accomplished. I'm not sure I like that feeling. I know I'm smart... do I really need a PhD to legitimize it??
I think I'd make a cute receptionist. Maybe I could work like in a department office at a university. Then if I ever wanted to go back I'd kinda already have an "in".
I had to park my car on the street last night. I got home at 8:45pm and there were no spots in my fucking parking lot. I hope my car is ok out there - it's not the best neighborhood.
I feel sick to my tummy now. I think I wanna
Sorry this journal was such a downer... sometimes it happens.
UPDATE:
Okay, so those of you who have been reading my journal for awhile might remember the little incident I had with ROACHES a couple of months ago.... yeah, well, the exterminator came and they were gone. Or so I thought... cuz I just fucking FOUND ANOTHER ONE AND BASHED IT TO ITS DEATH!!!!!
I just emailed my landlord... I don't know wtf is up... I'm a clean person! VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
your doing just fine. you cant get through to everyone, you dont want to drop out. stick with it...youd be an awesome teacher. and if i have kids, im gonna track you down and send them to you! whether your a real teacher or not!!!
I think teaching will get better for you... you're a TA, so obviously, students are gonna try to push your buttons. You just gotta have some thick skin about it. Also, remember that the point of teaching at a university is actually not to teach... so I think the longer you're around, the less you'll have to deal with it.