Tuesday Dec 10, 2002

0
sometimes i wish i could just turn my brain off, especially when i am trying to sleep.

when i was younger, not real young but 19-20 i used to think that all i needed to be content was:
mobility-car, or whatever
freeedom-my own place
companionship-girlfriend
financial stability-job

I was thinking about this the other day and it dawned on me that out of those 4 catagories I fill one. I still have my apartment, but thats it. I haven't had a car since august, got laid off in early November, and have been single for almost a year. And of course with all this in my head who do I see today, the ex, fucking figures. I don't miss her, or want her back or anything, but nothing drives the point home better than a visual reminder.

I don't think that I'm not content but I am begining to realize that things are lacking in my life, the optimistic attitiude that I've striveed to keep is getting a few cracks in the armor. With a few changes I think better things are around the corner, fuck I hope so.

weird this is probably the most personal thing I have ever written hear, and I'm not even sure why I am, maybe it's ust good to see it in writing, to help evaluate.
bettietwoguns:
i write a lot of personal shit here. what i get is support and affection. i think you are super, and i'm pretty sure if you looked for a job, you could find one you like. also is true for girlfriends. smile
strio:
She's right, but don't look too hard for either the job or the girl. By that, I mean look, but don't stress yourself on it. I'm unemployed right now, but I wanted to be that way so I could really look at my life and decide what I want to do... what I'd be happy doing. Ask yourself that same question, and see how you can start your own business doing it. It's not nearly as hard as it sounds in most cases, and YOU get to set your hours and YOU get ALL the net profits. smile
As for the girl... you'll be amazed how many will flock around you when you have the glow of someone who is happy who is happy with their job.

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