I feel strange. Somethings gotta give. Perhaps I should forget about relationships altogether. I really just want some companionship and physical contact. The touch of another person is so nesessary. At least to me anyway 
"More melancholy nonsense. I swear you get more like Louis every day"
"More melancholy nonsense. I swear you get more like Louis every day"
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Learn to perform exceptional cunnilingus. I recommend this book highly: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446690902/qid=1078952583/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-2798043-4194250?v=glance&s=books
Always give her at least two orgasms before you have one.
If, after this, she still won't matrubate for you, find someone else who isn't so stingy.
(If we're talking men, since multiple o's aren't usually a possiblility, and I have no experience in this department, never mind.)