musim

I think I'm stuck musically at the moment because I'm tired of how I've been making music. Pretty much every song that I've ever written on any instrument was a learning experience. I really don't care to write the song if its not. Every guitar part I've ever made up I was either trying to learn a different style, technique, or feel. Every drumbeat I've ever programmed was an exercise in learning either a different style, greater variation, or cracked out noises. Its the same on every instrument and every program for me. Its the way I've always been. A lot of songs I've made up on guitar I couldn't play at first. I'm probably going to record some of my made up solo guitar songs soon. I already have a couple recorded but the one I really want I haven't recorded yet. If you've never heard me play by myself on guitar then I'm pretty sure it will take your expectations for a ride as I seriously doubt you'll have a clue of just what exactly is going to come out.

Mind wise faith is something I've been working on lately. Faith in myself. All the confidence it seems I've ever had has been given to me. So I was thinking I'm tired of being this nervous insecure person and I really think its about time to be the confident hero type. So how to gain confidence because it can't be faked and well... I can't stomach faking things for anything other than a joke anyway. I decided that confidence could be directly related to faith in my self. So that's what I've been doing the last day or two, putting faith in myself. The trick will be keeping faith when I fuck up or when something bad happens to me (I tend to believe in karma). I think my lack in confidence has killed my conversation ability with strangers of late and its prevented me from being on friendly terms with new people. Either way, like any skill, I have to find ways to practice and test this new found faith and develop through thick and thin.