I can't explain why, but I've been obsessed with the idea of death recently. I feel like it is all around me, while in reality it isn't. Still I'm finding myself constantly consumed by the idea...the fact that we will all eventually become forever motionless and then disintigrate away into nothing...no longer warm.....no longer beautiful.
To me, it's frightening. But then I think to myself "what does it matter if I were to die right here and now? I won't be conscience to grieve my own end."
The end is the end. The brain stops. There is no longer any thought. And that is why no one will ever know the truth behind life and death....becasue when the electricity finally goes out, we no longer are who we are.
Maybe that is why so many christians say that without Jesus in your life, you are empty. Life is so short, it really would be nice if we were living for something more. I just can't delude myself into completely buying into that idea.
But if I'm wrong? Ah, well I'm going to hell as it is
the internet connects everyone....you could get to know thousands of people if you just look around enough. At the same time, the internet brings death closer. You find so many documents of people's lives and who they were and then of their demise. The problem is that I allow myself to get sucked in. I find myself crying for people I never knew. It feels like so much beauty and intelligence is lost forever.
and we will all be there sooner or later
"Not one day goes by that I don't realize
I know that no one will ever know
where the flowers go when they are gone
Not one day goes by that I don't know that I'm dying"
-VAST - I'm Dying
To me, it's frightening. But then I think to myself "what does it matter if I were to die right here and now? I won't be conscience to grieve my own end."
The end is the end. The brain stops. There is no longer any thought. And that is why no one will ever know the truth behind life and death....becasue when the electricity finally goes out, we no longer are who we are.
Maybe that is why so many christians say that without Jesus in your life, you are empty. Life is so short, it really would be nice if we were living for something more. I just can't delude myself into completely buying into that idea.
But if I'm wrong? Ah, well I'm going to hell as it is
the internet connects everyone....you could get to know thousands of people if you just look around enough. At the same time, the internet brings death closer. You find so many documents of people's lives and who they were and then of their demise. The problem is that I allow myself to get sucked in. I find myself crying for people I never knew. It feels like so much beauty and intelligence is lost forever.
and we will all be there sooner or later
"Not one day goes by that I don't realize
I know that no one will ever know
where the flowers go when they are gone
Not one day goes by that I don't know that I'm dying"
-VAST - I'm Dying
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
boogalooshrimp:
There was a point in my life where I became wholly consumed with the idea of dying. Through most of my youth (which is now all but fleeting), I was never afraid of it, and never cared about it one way or the other. Then one day I just became so afraid of dying, and the idea that I would no longer be able to enjoy even the simplest of things. It can definitely get overwhelming. Then I just sort of realized that short of not eating a can of lard everyday, or staying inside the crosswalks, there's nothing I can really do about it. I'll die when I die. I just have to try and make the most of the life I've got.
dancer29:
...just want to say that you're a stunning beauty!! Wow...