If you want to be my friend comment in my journal something to the effect of why it is that you do. AND... if you want to stay my friend... comment regularly in my journal. I'm sorry if this sounds like I am being a bitch, that's not my intention. If I delete you from my 'friends' list and you don't like it simply request my 'friendship' again and I'll apologize. Thanks.
On to the shit... sorry folks that's all I got as of late.
It has been brought to my attention that when I am upset I start speaking German... hmmmmm.
What can I say... It works for me. 
In case some of you are out of the loop, possibly because you don't speak German or because you don't stop by my journal enough... here's the deal:
The day I found out my grandma died my boyfriend broke up with me. It sucks cause we live together and neither of us can really leave right now. He has nowhere else to go and I don't have enough $$$ to leave and make it due largely to how things are because of the car accident I was in June. Also, I am pretty sure that there is a girl that will soon become Sean's new gf. *Le sigh. Boys are great... it is so friggin awesome how he wasn't there just when I needed him the most.
I was close to my grandmother and am having very mixed feelings about her death. I am happy she is no longer suffering, sad that she is gone. I just returned home after a few days down state at my uncle's for the wake/funeral/burial. My dad's side of the family thinks I am Satans daughter, I swear! I did a lot of biting my tongue and shaking my head at the whole lot of them. I was in no mood to pipe up with my usual quick whit. Grandma didn't have a will and my Aunt Marg was the one who doled out her belongings. While I am grateful to have the things I was given I am also hurt and angry because I was given the things no one wanted and the things I had made for her over the years. I love that I have some of her coats, a pair of slippers (booties) that she hand made, a card I made her when I was about 10 (she kept it all these years), and the food serving tray I painted for her for this last mothers day. I was hoping to have a simple piece of her jewelry so that maybe someday when I am married I can wear it (if someone ever wants to marry me). I was very hurt every time she asked what i might like to have and every time I said something she already had someone else in mind for it.
I am just very very upset right now and while I have friends... most of them are far away and I could really use a lot of contact...
Wanting contact
I'm wanting contact
I'm wanting contact with you
Shake those hands, shake those hands
Give me the thing I understand
Shake those hands, shake those hands
Pull my chin, stroke my hair, scratch my nose, hug my knees
Try drink, food, cigarette, tension will not ease
I tap my fingers, fold my arms, breathe in deep, cross my legs
Shrug my shoulders, stretch my back - but nothing seems
to please
I need contact
I need contact
Nothing seems to please
I need contact
Look at that no German this time dont be fooled, Im still upset.
Do you people even read this?
On to the shit... sorry folks that's all I got as of late.
It has been brought to my attention that when I am upset I start speaking German... hmmmmm.
What can I say... It works for me.
In case some of you are out of the loop, possibly because you don't speak German or because you don't stop by my journal enough... here's the deal:
The day I found out my grandma died my boyfriend broke up with me. It sucks cause we live together and neither of us can really leave right now. He has nowhere else to go and I don't have enough $$$ to leave and make it due largely to how things are because of the car accident I was in June. Also, I am pretty sure that there is a girl that will soon become Sean's new gf. *Le sigh. Boys are great... it is so friggin awesome how he wasn't there just when I needed him the most.
I was close to my grandmother and am having very mixed feelings about her death. I am happy she is no longer suffering, sad that she is gone. I just returned home after a few days down state at my uncle's for the wake/funeral/burial. My dad's side of the family thinks I am Satans daughter, I swear! I did a lot of biting my tongue and shaking my head at the whole lot of them. I was in no mood to pipe up with my usual quick whit. Grandma didn't have a will and my Aunt Marg was the one who doled out her belongings. While I am grateful to have the things I was given I am also hurt and angry because I was given the things no one wanted and the things I had made for her over the years. I love that I have some of her coats, a pair of slippers (booties) that she hand made, a card I made her when I was about 10 (she kept it all these years), and the food serving tray I painted for her for this last mothers day. I was hoping to have a simple piece of her jewelry so that maybe someday when I am married I can wear it (if someone ever wants to marry me). I was very hurt every time she asked what i might like to have and every time I said something she already had someone else in mind for it.
I am just very very upset right now and while I have friends... most of them are far away and I could really use a lot of contact...
Wanting contact
I'm wanting contact
I'm wanting contact with you
Shake those hands, shake those hands
Give me the thing I understand
Shake those hands, shake those hands
Pull my chin, stroke my hair, scratch my nose, hug my knees
Try drink, food, cigarette, tension will not ease
I tap my fingers, fold my arms, breathe in deep, cross my legs
Shrug my shoulders, stretch my back - but nothing seems
to please
I need contact
I need contact
Nothing seems to please
I need contact
Look at that no German this time dont be fooled, Im still upset.
Do you people even read this?
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
I'm soooo sorry for all that. That's just a horrible day. I felt the same way when my granddad died. I miss him a lot, but I know it's better to not suffer. I can't imagine having my heart broken twice like that in one day. That would be so hard. I'm real sorry. *HUGS*
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I hope my last comment to you made sense, about my bad YEAR, not just a bad day, or week, or even a month... finally after a year things are looking up. It might take a long time, but life gets better. I swear. And if it doesn't, I'm kicking supernatural ASS when I'm out of this earthen plane.
*hugs* to you doll.