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murder_tramp

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 9 Following 24

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Saturday Jul 17, 2004

Jul 17, 2004
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All I can think about is:

Sean,
I poked my head into your room after Chrissy left... to see if you were still awake. You looked so sweet and peaceful. It made me smile. I wanted to kiss your forehead, but I was worried you would wake up or get angry. The way you looked today for work reminded me of when I first saw you at the first pre open HT #381 meeting. It made me happy and sad. I don't know what is going on between us, but I hope whatever happens that it is good (either way). I keep hearing that Birthday Massacre song in my head... the one that reminds me of you... To Die For, because it is pretty and sad and reminds me of how gorgeous you are and how happy and sad you have made me. You know the one that goes like:
"Tighten your tie boy.
You're something to die for.
But don't hold your breath now.
You're just killing time.
Tonight you can dream boy.
Imagine a whisper.
If you can keep secrets,
Then I'll tell you mine.
Remember a promise
You couldn't hold on to.
Though it brings me to tears now, I need you to know.
Look in my eyes boy.
Nothing like yours now.
It seems that a lifetime is passing us by.
So open your eyes.
This is forever but it won't last long.
This is a memory that fades away in never ending.
In the death of all that's long been said and done before,
We'll wish that we were something more...
Your memory's fading.
I'll love you forever.
I'll try to remember.
I'll try to hold on...
I'll never forget you,
As long as I'm here."
I wanted you to know that I love you and how much it broke my heart when you removed my necklace.
Love + Kisses always~(my name here)

For those of you who haven't read my last few journals and are puzzled... Sean is/was my bf... I think we are done. frown surreal and I am quite wrecked. This is the note I left him in his room tonight when he was sleeping. I think better on paper since the accident cause I can see what I said.


~Trampy skull

EDIT: Ok, I just tried to go to sleep on the couch (were I have to sleep since stuff w/Sean and the accident) and... Someone or something is seriously against me! I thought I was loosing it cause of the meds, since the last few nights I haven't been able to fall asleep because I felt like there were spiders crawling on me. But I'M NOT CRAZY! I just pulled the covers back and there were spiders. One was on my Kitty stuffed animal! I killed them, but now I itch. And now I must postpone sleep to shower the itch away! eeek shocked eeek
taste_your_flesh:
if you went through all that trouble and he doesnt fall for his knees and beg for you he doesn't deserve you. And eww, spiders.
Jul 17, 2004
artpie:
so what's goin on now Sista Trampy?... have you & the boy found a way to move through this or are you both still bouncing around in between?... (you need to be sleeping in a bed girl)... & I know they may seem icky but spiders are actually a good sign... they tend to show up when things need clearing up a bit... they don't want to hurt you... they are in this world to gather up the small irritations... they capture nightmares in their webs... call me little Sister... let me hear in your voice that you're ok...
j
Jul 19, 2004

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