Aaaaand I just realized that the reason why S isn't returning my texts is because not only did she go to the party, she went to the party with this guy from Craigslist. A memory from last night hit me like a ton of bricks : S telling me about a conversation she'd had with this new guy about how he and his former girlfriend used to fuck in swing clubs for the exhibitionism.
The part that kills me is how I did this to myself. I let A lure me back into bed, and when I told her I thought it was a bad idea and that I wanted to stop, I let her feed me lines about how things were different, how she was different. I slept with her despite how I knew S wouldn't care for it. And so, when S asked if I was still sleeping with A, I took the coward's route and lied. In the aftermath of the hurt I inflicted on her, she sought out physical comfort. This is where it's gone from there.
Did I mention how glad I am I let A back into my life, especially how as soon as this shit starts going down with S, A ends up with someone else and doesn't have five minutes for me? Yeah. Being replaced twice in the same week. Way awesome.
The part that kills me is how I did this to myself. I let A lure me back into bed, and when I told her I thought it was a bad idea and that I wanted to stop, I let her feed me lines about how things were different, how she was different. I slept with her despite how I knew S wouldn't care for it. And so, when S asked if I was still sleeping with A, I took the coward's route and lied. In the aftermath of the hurt I inflicted on her, she sought out physical comfort. This is where it's gone from there.
Did I mention how glad I am I let A back into my life, especially how as soon as this shit starts going down with S, A ends up with someone else and doesn't have five minutes for me? Yeah. Being replaced twice in the same week. Way awesome.