munch

wow...its been a few weeks since the last update...

i kinda like my holiday blog. it makes me happy looking at the photos. if you've still not seen it, you can go here!.

if you have seen it, carry on....

- so i feel like i'm in a "should I stay or should I go" situation. when i came back from SF i was thinking about jacking in SG after 4 and a half years. i really only get as much use out of now as i get with facebook and myspace - and they are free. why am i still paying for this? i thought i'd stay as long as it took for Jackies latest set to go live, to show my support an all that. seems her set went live just as the bulk of SGUK decided to leave the site! i'm in two minds whether to go now...i dunno, i'm just so used to being on here. BUT - apart from a couple of people that aren't so easily contactable, the people that i actually wanna hear from i hear from in real life - and speak to them more than I actually get comments from them. seems a bit weird staying on here just to wait for a comment from a mate that i've probably already talked to anyway? I don't think i'll be going anywhere to be honest....but....the thoughts in the back of my mind now. so much so, i deleted 30 people from my friends list on thursday.
sorry if that seems cunty...but hey, you didn't speak to me on here anyway! and that being the case - just cos I ain't yer friend on here, i'm not gonna add you on facebook or myspace either. if we don't speak on here, we ain't gonna speak elsewhere are we?

- i've been back from SF for three weeks now. and being back is shit quite frankly. i thought my third trip out there was gonna be last. turns out i was totally wrong. not only was it the best time i've been there, it was also totally different to the other two times i've been there. and i didn't wanna come home. and i wanna go straight back.
i know people always say "the grass is greener". well, fuck that. i love SF. more than any other place. more than i love London. and i wish there was someway I could get back and stay for a while - but that would involve me being totally irresponsible, jacking in my job and selling the flat (yes, i did think about it!). When i came back, i just felt everything had gone back to normal, and that "normal" was just fucking rubbish. i really felt like jacking everything in and starting afresh elsewhere. anyway...crazy talk

- and while I'm talking about everything being shit, i ain't been the most rational, well behaved person since I came back. in fact i've been horrible. i can't believe what a fucking pain in the arse i've been with a couple of my friends since I've been back. the fact that these people still talk to me and wanna hang out with me just shows how awesome they are. i've come back down to earth with a bit of a bump i must say - and i totally deserved it. apologies all round - to those that have put up with my wingeing cunty-ness, and to the person that had to deal with the main bulk of my irrational arsery. none of you should have had to have put up with that.

- while i'm ranting and raving, i also wanted to mention the mercy dash i did for my drummer a couple of weeks ago, when i picked her up from her sisters house in tears and had her move in with me for a few days. but its all a bit too complicated to go into MAJOR detail. needless to say, i felt like a bit of a mug dropping everything at first for this stroppy teenager - i was convinced i did the wrong thing in letting her stay at mine, and that she was probably just being difficult and selfish dealing with her sisters "rules" at her house. however, it transpired that they were being totally ridiculous in what they expected Sarah to put up with (not being allowed in the house between 8am and 6pm was one of the most ridiculous things i've ever heard). and in letting her stay over, i ended up with one happy drummer that actually managed to play the best drums she'd played in months. seems i did the right thing there in going to pick her up. and it was nice to have the company for a few days.

- the one relatively good thing since SF...my band had its first two gigs last weekend, and everything went ridiculously well. i was totally shitting myself at our first gig, especially when faced with The Mingers soundchecking (i was like "oh fuck, what am i doing here?"!), but once we started playing, everythig went really well.
the feedback we've had since has been ridiculous. i didn't think we were that great, but comments like "you couldn't tell it was your first gigs at all", "you're awesome, i don't have to lie or anything" and "you made me want to punch someone!" made me realise we are doing something right.

now if only i can sort out our singer and drummer and get them talking again, that would be excellent!



if you wanna see what a racket we made, you can check out three videos here, courtesy of iannnnnn.

both gigs were a blast...mainly because of the other bands and the friends that turned up to show their support. and their opinions count too - i'm glad that everyone actually liked us, and a few of them ever dare to call themselves "fans", hahaha! (thanks Jackie, Doplex and iannnnnn!)

- finally, yesterday me and ian went to see CONTROL at the cinema. i was gobsmacked. its a fucking awesome movie. the guy that plays Ian Curtis is incredible.



i think i'm done here now. hopefully i'll update a little quicker than the last time.

laters potaters...