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mulhollanddrive

Austin, TX

Member Since 2003

Followers 58 Following 42

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Saturday Jan 10, 2004

Jan 10, 2004
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My dreams were so vivid and crazy last night. I woke up at 6:00 and realized that I didn't have to get up. It was so nice to put on some music and drift back to sleep. Today was a good day: went out with a friend, ate Mexican food, bought stuff, talked about those nutty Nazis. It was just what I needed.
I didn't go out as planned last night. I was pretty damn upset. It's very sad when someone owns your heart, yet doesn't want it. You show them time and time again that you would do anything for them, yet it's somehow still not enough. I can only have my face rubbed in it so many times before I reach a point where I can go no further. I can't wait any longer, so I must decide where to go from here. If we stay friends, I have to witness the choices she makes, which in my eyes are never the right ones. If I go it alone, I lose someone I hold very dear. Either way, I lose. Either way, we lose. None of it makes sense, but it is what it is. I don't have the time or the energy to wait for her to come around anymore.
Sorry to burden you with that. My weekend has been cut short, because I have to head a meeting tomorrow at work...bright and early. At least there will be donuts, beautiful donuts.
I feel like I've been kicked repeatedly. In a way, I guess I have been. This is never easy, and I'm not one to walk away from people. I'm not sure that's the right answer. All I know is that I can't sit by, and be taken for granted any longer.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kinto:
Man, even if it's the hardest part, letting go of someone who doesn't want your love is the only possible solution. You are going to torture yourself forever because you will always have hope (even if totally unfounded) when you see her. And that's going to hurt A LOT more.

When my long(est)-term girlfriend decided to break up, I was down like I didn't even think it was possible to be. But seeing her from time to time was awful because i still felt the same and she didn't.

It stopped in 2001, I haven't seen her for more than one year now, although she called me & tried to see me & told me she was missing me terribly (as a friend, of course). And yes, sometimes I miss her still. But nowadays it's more out of romantic nostalgia than anything else. I'm glad I stopped seeing her at all, eventhough it was very hard not to pick up the phone many times...

Good luck smile

K
Jan 11, 2004
mutinyonthebay:
hey whats up im back i wish i could dream like i used to. insomnias a bitch. good luck withthe lady. i hope she wakes up to your devastating charm.
Jan 11, 2004

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