Almost dead … Sober
*Warning, this is not my usual light hearted wittiness
So I have tossed this around several times wether or not I should write about this but, again it came to me last night. There is a reason it snuck back into thought and the only thing I can think of is that it needs to be put out as some sort of heads up…..
So, bare with me..
Just over 10 years ago, I was at a house party with people I had know for years.. I mean years.. I wasn’t drinking, I mean I was having water and enjoying the company of the amazing golden retriever.. Yep, nothing much has changed.. I will still migrate to the dog in room..
There were a few other people that showed up to the house that I hadn’t met before, spoke another language and didn’t make an effort to speak with them.. That sadly is one of the last memories I have of that night. I was so happy, I was with friends.. the dog was awesome.. couldn’t ask for better..
I woke up in such pain the next morning alone in the hospital trauma centre.. scared to death and no idea what happened. I was drugged and brutally attacked.. I was so ashamed.. I was covered in bruises.. my face, my head, arms, legs, I was just mangled. I knew I had to work the next day .. I had a great job, I didn’t want to loose it… so I left to go back to my condo.. I didn’t know if I was going to survive.. what was I going to tell people..?!??!! What does every girl that is attacked or domestically abused say… I had been playing rugby semi-pro and decided it would be an easy sell.. I was always bruised and cut and no one thought any different..
I tried to get ready for work.. the water from the shower was like rocks being thrown on my skin.. it was so painful..I couldn’t even look at myself .. I was so sad and ashamed .. how did this happen to me?!~ I was always so aware.. in some cases hyper-aware.. I am good girl.. My anxiety around people grew to be unbearable.. I felt like I truly couldn’t trust anymore.
All these years later the overwhelming sadness still comes over me.. .. I cried a good long while last night trying to decided how to deal with that flood of emotion that came to me during my meditation.. I had to let the demon out.. the story had to be told.. If it saves one girl the horrific experience I endured.. that night that changed my life.. my innocence ripped from me.. I cry even trying to write this… guy or girl.. if you see something you need to step up.. you can’t let something happen.. You see a girl or guy leave a drink unattended …you… need educate them on the dangers.. I don’t want this to be a story told in vain..
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
kevinmk:
You are very brave for putting this up here. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
user8992:
So sorry to hear. Everyone needs a safe place to let things out. This is a wonderful place for that. If you don't let it out it stays in and you can't let go properly. I have been drugged too and sexually abused. It was extremely horrible and damaging. I was able to move forward and heal through Reiki. I ran into the guy not long ago and didn't really respond when truly i should have lost it. I took my power back. His awful soul and the occurrence no longer affected me and I needed to let that go. Never forget but let go for my own health and sanity. I can be more introverted too often not a big fan of others or very selective and I gravitate towards animals or other empaths. I wish you peace. Sending love & light 💚