Ugh, this new format is irritating me. so many clicks and scrolls!! 
I just noticed on that calendar over there <----- that in 16 days it's my one-year anniversary of leaving the sex offender therapist career. And all the trauma that preceeded it and other trauma that was a result of it. And this year has been the best of my life aside when I was young, travelling the world and having lots of sober and not-so-sober adventures.
And one of the changes I made, the now ex-boyfriend, sent me an email the other day. I don't get this. For me, ex means ex, not new incarnation. It's not like we have joint property to sort out, or children even, where we would have to keep in touch. It was a relationship that was so suffocating to me. He did not have an identity apart from me. In retrospect it was creepy. He confused pity with love, he confused his own rescue fantasy with love, and he thought that he could use friendship to force dependence and that dependence could be twisted into intimacy.
I usually open my mailwasher to read my mail, but that evening I just went straight to email. What are the odds, huh? There he was. So I read about his acheivements in independence - that he had to write to me about; yeah that's progress, check in with mommy - and then hit the "block sender" thing and delete. Gone daddy gone. And every time I think of the mail I feel like I can't breathe. Again. His energy crushes my lungs. Sucks the air and life force out of me, literally.
So in the last year, one thing I have been working on is trusting my instincts more. And trusting how I feel about how other people's energy effects me. No more energy parasites.
Ok, new subject. It's supposed to be in the upper 70's today, mid 80's tomorrow, and 90's this weekend. Oh YEAH!!!!! I love it hot!! I'll do my runs, then come get the dogs and take them down to the river. They'll run around and swim and I'll soak my pins in the cold cold water. I love that. It's so great for recovery.
Is my one-year anniversary on the 30th of June or July 1? I ask because I worked the 30th, so technically I was still in the shit. What do you think?
I just noticed on that calendar over there <----- that in 16 days it's my one-year anniversary of leaving the sex offender therapist career. And all the trauma that preceeded it and other trauma that was a result of it. And this year has been the best of my life aside when I was young, travelling the world and having lots of sober and not-so-sober adventures.
And one of the changes I made, the now ex-boyfriend, sent me an email the other day. I don't get this. For me, ex means ex, not new incarnation. It's not like we have joint property to sort out, or children even, where we would have to keep in touch. It was a relationship that was so suffocating to me. He did not have an identity apart from me. In retrospect it was creepy. He confused pity with love, he confused his own rescue fantasy with love, and he thought that he could use friendship to force dependence and that dependence could be twisted into intimacy.
I usually open my mailwasher to read my mail, but that evening I just went straight to email. What are the odds, huh? There he was. So I read about his acheivements in independence - that he had to write to me about; yeah that's progress, check in with mommy - and then hit the "block sender" thing and delete. Gone daddy gone. And every time I think of the mail I feel like I can't breathe. Again. His energy crushes my lungs. Sucks the air and life force out of me, literally.
So in the last year, one thing I have been working on is trusting my instincts more. And trusting how I feel about how other people's energy effects me. No more energy parasites.
Ok, new subject. It's supposed to be in the upper 70's today, mid 80's tomorrow, and 90's this weekend. Oh YEAH!!!!! I love it hot!! I'll do my runs, then come get the dogs and take them down to the river. They'll run around and swim and I'll soak my pins in the cold cold water. I love that. It's so great for recovery.
Is my one-year anniversary on the 30th of June or July 1? I ask because I worked the 30th, so technically I was still in the shit. What do you think?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
buster_bluth:
I think since June 30th is a Friday, that should be your anniversary and it should be the start of a five day celebration right through Juky 4th! I sure am glad I'm not the only one not diggin the new format. Not user friendly and not inuitive in the least. Sorry about the ex; it's drag when you try to scrape people off and they just keep trying to latch back on.
free2b:
I'd say the 30th and party all weekend!!! Congrats!! 