mslion

I finally got to a point where I felt I could write to that friend I got into the fight with a few weeks ago...everyone kept telling me, "Oh, she's not mad anymore. Her pride won't let her be the one to approach you first." But everything I tried to write sounded so angry, full of pointing fingers and blame and "you're wrong, and here's the proof." I finally wrote a very generic, "hey, I'm sorry I made you mad" mail, but I didn't apologize for what I said or why I said it, just that I was sorry that it upset her and made her mad. Because I'm *not* sorry. I didn't do anything wrong. It's not my fault she took what I said the wrong way and then didn't discuss it with me--and yes, I disappeared after the email where she absolutely blasted me, because I was really hurt that the first thing she thought was that I'd deliberately set out to hurt her somehow, and she's not mad at the other people who were involved in the same conversation.

Because...I'm still mad, I guess. I thought I was over it. And I miss her.

She answered this morning. Basically said she was replying so that I knew she got my mail, but that in an effort to be civil she wasn't really going to say anything. I got the impression she felt my mail was not adequate, gee. Oh, and she said that she'll "see" me "around sometime."

You know, I don't need to deal with her issues--too much pride and the inability to forgive people for being less than perfect.

I have plenty of my own issues--feeling guilty for every damn thing in the world, a little too much stubbornness for my own good. There's too much hurt in the world already. I don't need any more added.

Sorry for the rant.