mselect

i can't seem to relate to anyone. i'm alone 95% of the time. my few friends seem to be growing more and more distant. i don't want them or my family to get depressed or worry about me, so i can't talk to them. everybody has their own problems anyway. i've been a miserable failure socially my entire life. nothing is changing. i went through six months of chemotherapy for hodgkin's lymphoma last year. it was completely gone at last check-up, but i haven't scheduled a follow-up appointment because i really don't care. when i was going through that at least i had a reason to feel shitty. all i'm doing is going through the motions. this state of mind is temporary, i should look on the bright side, etc. etc.... life is becoming more and more uninteresting and hopeless.