Wedding season is bittersweet. You want to be extremely happy for whoever is getting married but it is also a huge pain in the ass. I survived my brother's year-long wedding extravaganza last year and ended up being a bridesmaid again this year for a good friend of mine from college. The festivities all began in January. I've come to the conclusion should I ever want to get married I'm fucking eloping to Vegas with my family and that's it...maybe a bachelorette party but that's seriously it.
I'm a bridesmaid to a conservative christian girl. I actually have to cover my tattoos on my arm for her wedding. The bridal party consists of mormons and conservative christians, and then there's me, the only single one who should realistically be carrying around a flask to make it through these events. I managed to slam down 5 whiskeys at the bachelorette party when they awkwardly discussed the excitement of having sex for the first time.I probably sucked down so many because I didn't want to open my mouth and input anything considering I've been sexually active for almsot a decade. They probably would have thrown holy water on me.
Being a bridesmaid involves so much committment. An engagement party, a bridesmaid dress-fitting, the bride's dress, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, and the ceremony. I've also had other tasks such as picking up dresses from alterations and finding makeup to cover my arm. The amount of gifts I've had to buy: a bridal shower gift, a bachelorette gift (I basically got her a Sex for Dummies book) and a wedding gift.
I probably sound like a bitch but two years in a row I've had to be heavily involved in weddings. I just feel they are a pain in the ass for everyone. When people do get married, they act like they know everything in life and have suddenly become wiser. Bitch, you have lowered yourself to sweatpants everyday and your idea of a fun night is to play Yahtzee with other couples.
I never want to get married.
