ms_magdalena

She woke up and stumbled, like she had a habit of doing after nights like that. Her mouth felt as sticky as the dim thoughts in her head, both still wrapped in a haze of sleep and alcohol. Who's house was this, again?

Wasn't she wearing underwear when she went out?

She sits down to pee and notices the bruises on her thighs. Not on the outer part; on the inner part. The most intimate part. The part she wished she remembered being touched. She remembered drinking a lot of water before she went to bed, which she was now thankful for. She remembered two drinks at work, two shots at home, four beers at the bar, and some boys staring at her all night. Waving her over. Complimenting her strappy little stiletto-heeled shoes, and then her personality . . . after a bit of feigned interest during conversation.

She remembered that her friends had left, and left her in dubious care.

Her sister had sent her multiple messages, all calling her a liar in one form or other.

She had been called "Boobs McGee," as a stray finger found its way down into her cleavage, wiggling the entire way down and back. She remembered how upset she had felt when it had happened, considering how cute she thought she looked and how many compliments she'd received on the new shirt and the new jeans. After how long she'd spent on her makeup. Her hair. She was very easily torn down at the time.

She remembered being kissed in a jeep, after kissing a different boy earlier in the night. She remembered the words that followed.

"You know, I've been waiting for that all night," she'd said, considering she'd liked him from the start.

"But you know - when we go back in, this didn't happen. I mean, I can't do that to Jeffy."

" . . . I know," she'd responded. Jeffy was the one with the thing for shoes, after all. Jeffy was the one that had called her over. Jeffy was the one with which she'd shared the previous kisses, and many bummed cigarettes after she'd forgotten her pack at the bar.

"Yeah. And I'll probably act like an asshole to you, so, you know, he wouldn't think anything," those lips continued.

"Uh. . ." The filler parted her lips, and her heart sank for the fourth time that night.

"Ok, got the CD, lets go back in."

And they went back inside.

And Jeffy went to sleep shortly after.

And they all bowled on Wii. And she drank a beer . . . and a pull of Korbel VSOP, right from the bottle. She knows that you don't take pulls of Korbel VSOP, but she gets self conscious around new people. She didn't want to sound pretentious.

And then she drank water, because she'd had enough. Enough of everything. Enough of the night that she knew wasn't over yet, and was now out of her control. Hadn't she told her friends not to let this happen anymore? She thought she had, at least. The fact was, she had. They just hadn't payed much attention.

Dan goes home.

That second pair of lips comes over, and starts up again. She kisses back; willingly but not quite as lustfully.

Her shirt and bra are forced up to her neck as a drunken hand pulls open her belt.

"Uh. . . . , " those god damn fillers.

She didn't stand a chance. She wishes she were more assertive. Unfortunately for her, she's not. She's working on it.

Unfortunately for her, that just wasn't good enough.