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How is it that the week seems to go from bad to worse to fucking-astonishingly-horrible? First 've been getting shit for giving up meat. Then I get home and find a letter for me from the Fire Dept that goes a little something like this:

Dear Mr. Salazar,

Thank you for interest in the Phoenix Fire Dept. Unfortunately you have no family that works here and your chin is not soft enough for us to lay our balls on while you suck us off. We therefore see no qualities that would sway us to hire you. We hope you die a horrible death you fucking asshole.

Sincerely,
The Phoenix Fire Dept

And if that wasn't bad enough I ran into her today. You all know who that person is. It's the person who was in your life that you can refer to by any pronoun and everyone will know who you are talking about. I ran into her in all places at the fucking grocery store. At first a huge bubble of anger welled up in my chest and I was a half-step away from drop kicking her. How dare she invade my fucking space. This my grocery store. It's not even in her neigborhood. She lives fucking 15 miles away. There are plenty of other stores in her general vicinty that she could go to. She lives a half-mail from one. What in the fuck is she doing over here!? So I keep my composure, force a smile when she comes over, and answer her hello with another greeting. She asks how I've been, "Fine (how in the fuck do you think I feel you fucking bitch. You left me without saying a fucking word and basically ripped my heart out and burned it without even saying sorry afterwards.)" Of course I return with the same question and she says "ok." Then the silence creeps in. Fifteen seconds of pure, seething hatred. I have never really ever hated anyone before but I know what it feels like now. I can't take it anymore "So what are you doing on this side of town?" She says she is visiting her friend. Fucking lies, you don't have any friends over here. No one that you know lives over here except for one person, and if I'm correct you fucking left when I was completely fucking happy. You crushed the walls of my world that you helped build and here I am with a fucking smile on my face like nothing is wrong. But she knows. She can see it in my eyes. She knows I'm pissed. She knows I'll never forgive her. She knows that she was wrong. That's what I see in her eyes. She wants me to forgive her. She wants me to ask her over to my place so we can have a drink. She wants me to let her know that I'll take her back. She wants me to let her that I'll be her best friend again. She wants me tell her that she didn't fucking crush me four months ago. That I didn't call into work because of her. That I didn't cry over losing her. That I didn't have more than a few doubts about my existence. She wants me to act like everything is fucking great and that the time we spent apart was good for us. She wants everything to be the way it was. Everything was perfect. I had never been happier and she was never more safe. Then one day she just stopped. She didn't answer her door or her phone. She didn't return calls or notes. I fell into the "What did I do?" hole and I didn't get out for a few weeks. But when everything started to come together and I could see that I did nothing wrong I was relieved. I remember her parents telling me she was no good for me. That she would hurt me. I shouldn't get involved with her. "We love her Mikey but she is going to do you wrong in the end." Her own fucking father told me to leave her. But I didn't. I couldn't. And now after four months she steps into my fucking life and brings a flood of pain back with her. Of course I cut our conversation short and when she said she would call me I was fucking stupid and told her ok. Go ahead and call me. I'm waiting for you to hurt me again. I'm looking back at an hour ago and I wish I would have told her how she makes me feel. But I can't do it. I never have had the heart to tell someone that I don't like them. I still don't.