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mrzombie

living in lancashire now

Member Since 2005

Followers 1 Following 5

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Monday Oct 03, 2005

Oct 2, 2005
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hey all, i dont know why i am sharing this with you all, you will end up thinking i am a total sad bastard.

Back in February i had a break down i was off work sick for just under 2 months, when i told my boss i was going off sick all he said to me was "thats thrown a spanner in the works" then he told me he was interviewing new staff and asked if i wanted to sit in on the interviews, come on for fucks sake i was off sick because of a break down. I didnt want to know anything about work at all, i was at an all time low and didnt know what i was doing in life. I had great delight in telling my boss to stick his job a few weeks after i returned, i didnt give the usual 3 weeks notice that he asks for i told him there and then that i was leaving, you should have seen the look on his face, fucking brilliant.

I suffer from depression and i take medication for it, yes i am on Prozac, whooppeee!!! when i remember to take it that is. i find it very hard to make friends and i can count on one hand how many friends i have, i feel i will always be single from now on, i dont find socialising very easy and rarely go any where other than work and to my drum lessons, yes i decided during my time off sick that i would like to learn the drums and so i am now having lessons and have a drum kit in the shed. i made a major break through for me in June, i went on my own to the Download festival at Donington, i was able to walk where i wanted and sit on the grass where i wanted, no one really took any notice of me. its a shame i have to go to music concerts on my own, any one want to come to any with me?

i hate being lonely but at the same time cant make friends too easily, i am a complete sad bastard and dont know how you will all react to me now.

i lack self confidence and have real low self esteem.

any way i'm sure i have bored you all enough now so i shall say good bye, hope to hear from you all
take care everyone, shit i forgot my pill this morning frown




sat in my room listening to Guns N Roses Don't Cry, it makes me do just that, i am feeling very very low today, FUCK IT, BOLLOCKS TO IT ALL
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
dylan:
I had counselling for a while, until the dumb bitch started telling me to "draw pictures of my depression", then I left because frankly I'd rather be depressed than doing stupid touchy feely not at all constructive exercises for a demented old bat.

Haven't been at work since Sunday, I've got a hideous cold or flu or something.
Oct 6, 2005
harleen:
I know - what does a person do on a weekend? I'm lost smile
Hope things got better this week. What Dylan said made me laugh - one of my friends was told that all her problems stemmed from when she was a foetus and developed a guilt complex, before she was born! She had to write a story about being a foetus to 'let go of it all'. Too weird
Oct 6, 2005

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