I'm afraid this is going to be a long entry this time, so get your favourite drink and sit comfortably and i shall begin. Anyway does anyone actually read my journals in full?
I want to share a bit of a story i have been writing first
The ground underfoot was saturated, the lone figure stood by the roadside, waiting as the rain poured down, dripping from the peak of his baseball cap and drenching him from head to toe. There was no time to stand and admire the Norfolk countryside, he was waiting for one particular car to pass him by.
The driver of the car laughed, the passenger in the back had made a joke. The rain was making it hard for the driver to see where she was going, she was relying on the local knowledge of her son who was sat beside her. Althoughthe weather was bad the family were all in a very good mood, they were on their way to visit a mother and new born child in the city hospital.
With the oncomming vehicle in his sight, the lone figure raised a gun to his shoulder,
"Crack, Crack, Crack"
Three bullets left the barrel of the automatic weopon, piercing through the windscreen, the first bullet found it's target, hitting the driver's face at an angle sending her head backwards as the bullet entered her skull.
The second bullet finished off the windscreen and sent shards of glass everywhere, it found it's resting place in the back seat. The final bullet entered the left shoulder of the front seat passenger, blood splashed on the door and window beside him. The car veered out of control, skidding sideways across the road, crashing through a wooden fence and rolling in to a field opposite the gunman, sheep tried their best to run away from the object flying towards them.
more another time maybe.
now some lyrics
in the morning i am empty
of everything i used to be
i will write away my feelings
so no one would ever read
if i had all the answers
i could pour salt on my wounds
i could fill this room with sorrow
still no one would ever see
i want to wake up and drink from your river
i want to reach out and tear down the sky
to know im alive
i want to learn how to feel without bleeding
i want to learn how to live by your side
to know that you're mine
why- we have to swim against the tide to each other
to find the other side of the river
if i offered you a picture
and the paint is yet to dry
could you live with just a whisper
a flower is meant to die
anyone who knows the band Breed 77 will recognise those lyrics
anyway, i am pretty fuckin low today, i have done 2 things i have not done for a while, the first is, i went for a drive today with every intention of taking photographs of a local dissused air base, i have a fascination for derelict buildings (if anyone has pics of derelict buildings please send them to me) i got there and sat in my car for a while, then i put on a cassette which i havent listened to for a while, it holds songs on it that i listen to if i am down. i ended up getting out the car and just crumbling in to a heap and fuckin crying, i mean full on uncontrolable crying not knowing wht the fuck was going on, Fucking Hell, WHY?
the second thing i have done is i have punched fuck out of my house wall, my hand is ok a bit puffy but ok.
On a major upside, lastnight i had a 6 hour phone chat to a new friend, thanks AC
by the way everyone, the Uzi i asked for in my last journal, i still need it or a shotgun, but it's for me not for people who piss me off, yes that is how i feel.
bye all, have fun
I want to share a bit of a story i have been writing first
The ground underfoot was saturated, the lone figure stood by the roadside, waiting as the rain poured down, dripping from the peak of his baseball cap and drenching him from head to toe. There was no time to stand and admire the Norfolk countryside, he was waiting for one particular car to pass him by.
The driver of the car laughed, the passenger in the back had made a joke. The rain was making it hard for the driver to see where she was going, she was relying on the local knowledge of her son who was sat beside her. Althoughthe weather was bad the family were all in a very good mood, they were on their way to visit a mother and new born child in the city hospital.
With the oncomming vehicle in his sight, the lone figure raised a gun to his shoulder,
"Crack, Crack, Crack"
Three bullets left the barrel of the automatic weopon, piercing through the windscreen, the first bullet found it's target, hitting the driver's face at an angle sending her head backwards as the bullet entered her skull.
The second bullet finished off the windscreen and sent shards of glass everywhere, it found it's resting place in the back seat. The final bullet entered the left shoulder of the front seat passenger, blood splashed on the door and window beside him. The car veered out of control, skidding sideways across the road, crashing through a wooden fence and rolling in to a field opposite the gunman, sheep tried their best to run away from the object flying towards them.
more another time maybe.
now some lyrics
in the morning i am empty
of everything i used to be
i will write away my feelings
so no one would ever read
if i had all the answers
i could pour salt on my wounds
i could fill this room with sorrow
still no one would ever see
i want to wake up and drink from your river
i want to reach out and tear down the sky
to know im alive
i want to learn how to feel without bleeding
i want to learn how to live by your side
to know that you're mine
why- we have to swim against the tide to each other
to find the other side of the river
if i offered you a picture
and the paint is yet to dry
could you live with just a whisper
a flower is meant to die
anyone who knows the band Breed 77 will recognise those lyrics
anyway, i am pretty fuckin low today, i have done 2 things i have not done for a while, the first is, i went for a drive today with every intention of taking photographs of a local dissused air base, i have a fascination for derelict buildings (if anyone has pics of derelict buildings please send them to me) i got there and sat in my car for a while, then i put on a cassette which i havent listened to for a while, it holds songs on it that i listen to if i am down. i ended up getting out the car and just crumbling in to a heap and fuckin crying, i mean full on uncontrolable crying not knowing wht the fuck was going on, Fucking Hell, WHY?
the second thing i have done is i have punched fuck out of my house wall, my hand is ok a bit puffy but ok.
On a major upside, lastnight i had a 6 hour phone chat to a new friend, thanks AC
by the way everyone, the Uzi i asked for in my last journal, i still need it or a shotgun, but it's for me not for people who piss me off, yes that is how i feel.
bye all, have fun
u know....... dont hesitate... if ur feelin like shit. u know my number..... dont ever choose doin something harmful to yourself over callin me for help.
you have been told. lol
i AM your friend.
alice
xxxxx