mrsted_stryker

Although I cannot look at that any longer, I will continue to post it at the end of my blogs, as a reminder.
A reminder to live each day to its fullest no matter how hard it is. To be kind and supportive to each other and not to hold grudges. To find something in your life to cherish and love and than love it with all your heart. To be silly and crazy sometimes but always take care of those that love you.
This and so much more was what that man was to me. Dave was a great friend to me and so many others. We should CELEBRATE his life while we mourn the passing. It is a very sad thing to loose someone so special, but he was a wonderful man that would want us to celebrate his many accomplishments.

I have lived a hard life. Anyone that knows me well, knows that. I believe that most of us HAVE. Most of us dont have that trust fund or lots of money to give us the illusion that we are happy. I often think "what would I do if I won the lottery?" Well for one, I would be in Arizona. duh. I would pay to help AL with his own stresses. I would help the friends that are close to me get out of debt and be comfortable. But I would still be as poor as I am now. Because bottom line I would donate a ass load of it. JDRF. Battered Woman's. Rape Crisis. Cancer. The list is way too long.
Yes many people this time of year make resolutions to do things. Quit smoking. Eat better. Loose weight. Be happy. These are all great things. I think mine this year is to make a difference. Make a difference in someones life. Give up harboring old demons. Forgive. To make one person smile every day.
To make my Grandmother proud.
So as I sit here, hooked up to an IV at home, saddened by the loss of a friend, worried about all my friends that are already having a hard year, I cant help but smile. Life truly is what you make of it. If everyday you can think of ONE thing that makes you happy, something big like the love of a great person, or something small like your favorite pair of undies or socks, than you are doing ok. Find something else the next day and by the end of the week you actually have a LIST of the things that make you happy. If everyday you do this, than eventually maybe that list will outweigh the bad.

For everyone out there I have ever hurt, I am sorry. I never MEAN to hurt anyone, but life really does happen. Its unavoidable. But my apology comes from deep within.
For everyone out there that needs a smile or a friend, I am here. You can PM me, or call me if you have my number. I will do my best to put a smile on your face.
OH and to everyone that either posted or called me when I was in the hospital... I will never get back to you. I wanted to do something nice for you all and maybe I will be able to one day but for now please know that although the meds fucked with my brain and I dont remember details, I do remember that I would not have made it thru without you. Thank you.

Now i am off to go play my Wii. That is what is putting a smile on my face for the next hour or two! And than I will go color. I went a little crazy on my shopping list on Amazon! I have decided i want to collect Strawberry Shortcake dolls and coloring books and crayons. I cant wait to start making money again!! I am allowing myself ONE treat a month until I am in Arizona... and than maybe I will get TWO!

Over and out.
Fishii
PS I found a PICC line cover!!! I need to make $40 fast so I can get this. Any ideas? I wanna shower by myself with no help! PLUS I go thru about a roll of tape every 2 days.. and thats gonna get expensive! so eventually I wont be able to shower. I am so gonna stink! lol
Go look at it!!
this would make life so much easier!!!
I have one for my foot when I was in a cast but I was told not to use it. This is DESIGNED for a PICC line!!!!!
sigh once again... about money.
*goes to fight with a roll of tape and a baggie for a shower*