mrsted_stryker

My friend The_Libertine posted a very powerful blog today. It made me cry. I actually grieved while reading it. I grieved for the women that the blog was about, I grieved for the men that caused a blog like that to be written, and I grieved for what happened to me. I let it all out. I imagined ripping that part of me completely out of my body... and than I imagined burning it and setting it free.
I have a wonderful man in my life. He is caring and supportive and truly loves me unconditionally. When I am sad, he wipes my tears and when I am happy, he tickles me until I almost pee! He is never mean and cruel and would rather take his own life than to physically hurt me.. or even another woman.
I am lucky and blessed.
And have tried so hard to push him away because I was letting fear take over. I let the thought and the memory of what has happened to me almost destroy what has been given... and that stops now.
No longer will I be a slave to what others have done to me. No longer will I be a victim.
I will absolutely not let those men that have abused me keep doing so, because that is what is happening. They abused me years ago..and now I am still allowing it. No I am not in contact with them... but the MEMORY is what is haunting me. The memory of what they have done is what prevents me from allowing myself to be loved.
I am in control of my memories.
I am in control of how I deal with that.
I am in control of if I let it consume me, or I move on.

and I choose to move on.

SO please, its never a woman's fault. Sometimes we actually get out of the situation and it still affects us. No we dont cause our own "drama". It is never our fault when we are raped, or abused mentally or physically. If you know someone in one of these situations, please be gentle. What you say even when it is over can dramatically affect how we heal. Or IF we heal.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I hate that it even has to be written.