mrsted_stryker

Ya know how i said I could hang?
I might have been mistaken.

Her pain is ok but she is on so much meds she is hallucinating and talking in her sleep. She wakes up and calls my phone when I am sleeping in the other room to ask me questions like " I need to go to the bathroom, can you take me to the one downstairs?" She lives in a one bedroom apartment.
She snores
She doesnt make sense
and I am not getting any sleep.
And she just now DEMANDED I get up and help her to the bathroom yet she has been insisting she do it all by herself all day! There is never a thank you. Just a "do this" "do that" "bring me this"
I feel bad for being like this but I am in pain too.
I still have to work.
And I still have to find the money I need for bills and my shoot next week.

I am eating better but the circles under my eyes are so bad that I dont think even PHOTOSHOP will help.

If it werent for Jakeanugget I dont know what I would do. That man takes such good care of me and I dont tell him often enough how much I appreciate it or him.

I dont know, I cant pay my bills, I have exactly ZERO dollars for extra anything, I am stressed about my mom, still stressed about work, starting to stress about my pictures, STILL dont feel good, yet for some reason I feel......happy?

I dont know.

Thanks for being understanding. MOST of you paid attention to me when I said not to call me...and I appreciate that. I cant answer my phone because the apt is so small she can hear my conversation PLUS the ringing wakes her up.

I loves you my pretties....and i miss you all!

OH and I forgot to tell ya what I did. I tried to convince my mom and jakanugget to let me strip for a month so I can buy a Wii. Jakeanugget gently reminded me that I wont even do a stripteast for HIM and my mom told me I was an idiot, I dont get it tho. I could pay some bills AND buy a Wii!!
sigh
The Wii has a hold of my heart. I will die without one!
*shakes fist at lack of money*