Today was so fucked.
I stopped at the gas station to get a Red Bull for class. I paid for it and then left. Without my Red Bull. I got halfway to school before I realized how dumb I was.
When I got to school, I pulled in my spot and as I opened my car door, a huge gust of wind ripped it from my hand and smashed into the side mirror of the car in the next spot.
I picked up the broken pieces from a puddle. The guy took my information.
I walked into class and opened my Red Bull thinking, "Thank God for the new super-sized can." Two sips later, my elbow decided to knock it onto the floor. I was in the front row. I had to go to the bathroom and get an entire roll of those cheap paper towel thingies to clean it up while my teacher continued to lecture over me.
After class, I went to Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping. As I was perusing through the mushroom selection, I noticed a big jar of oil-soaked mushrooms. Like, tomato can sized. I picked it up and before I could even put together a recipe in my head, the jar was falling to the floor. I waited for an employee to come around so no one would think I was leaving the scene of a crime. I just stood there, in front of a pile of oil and mushroom and glass. Looking stupid and feeling like a bad omen.
So you see the pattern right? Do I even need to tell you that I walked out of Wal-Mart without my wallet?
I stopped at the gas station to get a Red Bull for class. I paid for it and then left. Without my Red Bull. I got halfway to school before I realized how dumb I was.
When I got to school, I pulled in my spot and as I opened my car door, a huge gust of wind ripped it from my hand and smashed into the side mirror of the car in the next spot.
I picked up the broken pieces from a puddle. The guy took my information.
I walked into class and opened my Red Bull thinking, "Thank God for the new super-sized can." Two sips later, my elbow decided to knock it onto the floor. I was in the front row. I had to go to the bathroom and get an entire roll of those cheap paper towel thingies to clean it up while my teacher continued to lecture over me.
After class, I went to Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping. As I was perusing through the mushroom selection, I noticed a big jar of oil-soaked mushrooms. Like, tomato can sized. I picked it up and before I could even put together a recipe in my head, the jar was falling to the floor. I waited for an employee to come around so no one would think I was leaving the scene of a crime. I just stood there, in front of a pile of oil and mushroom and glass. Looking stupid and feeling like a bad omen.
So you see the pattern right? Do I even need to tell you that I walked out of Wal-Mart without my wallet?
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
firemarshaljoe:
Hey are you going to go to megs bday party next weekend? I invited you on facebook also what the hell are you using for music I am getting sick pirate bay?
firemarshaljoe:
You should hook a brother up with an invite when you get one. How did you get in?