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mrshateyourself

An eye liner labyrinth.

Member Since 2004

Followers 20 Following 34

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Friday Jul 01, 2005

Jul 1, 2005
0
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So, things have been.. completely and totally uninteresting, but I have a few things to announce.

1) I am still so completely addicted to karaoke that it's pathetic.

2) As it turns out, tires work much better when they DON'T have a giant metal shank in them. (2nd flat tire in these past few months, I'll have you know.)

3) I THINK that Crazy Clapping Tai Chi Man may have died.. I don't hear him doing his kickboxing or constant yelling upstairs. Like ever.

And now, some literature for your pleasure :


William, I Giggled with Your Girlfriend
by Hank Hyena

'cause I was high and she was high and you were
bye-bye out of town-

William, we were both lonely without you

William, I kissed your lover's lips-I curled my paws around her hips
we cuddled on your couch 'cause I'm your closest friend, William,
I wanna feel everything you feel in this world.

William, I nibbled on her thin tongue next, my fingers
scampered 'round her breast

William, we were stuffing a turkey together- That's
why we got excited.

William, when she borrowed my herpes lotion, I knew we
had a dangerous connection.

William, I dallied with your dearest 'cause I feared
she was gonna sleep with a creep
when you were out of town and I wanted it to be
somebody you can trust.

William, that last bag of marijuana you sold me was
crap so you owe me $10.

William, I held her near, she chewed my ear, I removed her prink brassiere

William, she rested 'gainst my shivering chest, she
said you two had a quarrel
I said, "I am ex-Catholic, sex is best when it's immoral."

William, when I saw your gal pal's underwear, I had to
tear them off 'cause
you told me there's still scars on her butt
'cause a pit bull bit her when she was three years old
you can't be telling me things like that without me
wanting to know first hand.

William, I unclothed your cutie comrade 'cause I disrobed
some of your other darlings and I delighted in it so I decided, dang-let's do it again.

William, I did the fling-a-ding whirl with your lovable girl
'cause she was complaining that she doesn't have orgasms with you
-she wanted to find out if it was your fault or something else-
she didn't have an orgasm with me either, William.
I think she's a lesbian; you oughta be moving on..

William, I savored the flavor of your fine friend because-
I had this sweetie named Stevie seven years ago,
Stevie said you were sexy, we spat about that, then we split,
you ruptured that relationship, William, for that you owe me one-

William, I don't know her very well, we're kinda awkward around each other
-this seemed like an excellent way to break the ice-

William, I throbbed hearts with your honey 'cause it was Celtic holiday-
I do declare that a desperate dose of pagan power is contained and conveyed in the Druid fluid of the amatory act
and I am, William, first and foremost, I am a seeker of knowledge.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
trucker_fiction:
nothing wrong with tai chi. i do it every morning.

blah blah blah
Jul 2, 2005
babygiantsquid:
...when she borrowed my herpes lotion, I knew it was love.

"aw, nobody loves oily Homer..."
Jul 2, 2005

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