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mrshateyourself

An eye liner labyrinth.

Member Since 2004

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Monday May 23, 2005

May 23, 2005
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So, this lady Christine that lives down the hall from my clients committed suicide a few days ago.

My dealings with Christine have been limited. When I took my clients to vote, I gave her a ride to the polls as well. I remember that she was extremely excited for me that it was my first time voting. I ran into her a few times in the hallway after that. A really sweet lady. A tad 'flaky', but sweet nonetheless. Frizzy bleach blonde hair and bad pink lipstick. A soft perfume. I ran into her on the stairs one day.. and we spoke briefly.. she showed me a bruise she had on her upper arm. HUGE fucking bruise.. looked terribly painful, I might add. I asked what had happened.. and she said it was a domestic dispute. Her daughter apparently told her it was shaped like a butterfly. She added, 'No more butterflies for THIS girl.' As I was about to walk away.. she said to me, 'thank you.' I gave her a rather puzzled look which apparently prompted her to explain the random expression of such a thought.. and she said.. 'You know.. I think you are just the nicest person.' Made my day, it did. At one point she even introduced me to her mother for no apparent reason.

Her eleven year old daughter came home to find her dead on the couch of an overdose. Fucking ouch. Poor kid. frown

How awful to find your mother dead on the couch. Seriously. My whole take on that is.. when you have children.. you really no longer have the right to commit suicide. Having children means giving up being selfish. If it comes down to it.. you're going to have to live for them.. even if you no longer have the will to. You make that choice when you have children. You owe it to them to stick around.

Every day, when I would leave my clients apartment, I would see her ugly welcome mat outside her door (a risk to put out a welcome mat when you live in the ghetto.. they never end up sticking around for long. Perhaps it survived for so long because it was so unattractive, I'm not sure.) Today when I left, the mat was gone. It was actually kind of jarring.

I will admit to being a bit disturbed about this. However, I despise when people pretend to know someone who has died better than they did. You know those people. The ones who 'knew them so well and were best friends' even though they merely went to high school with the person and were mere acquaintances. I figure it's a way to turn the spotlight onto themselves. They're 'grieving' or whatever. It's a goddamned pet peeve of mine, I'll say that. Takes the attention away from those who actually ARE grieving and who need the support. Turns a funeral into a rigoddamnediculously self centered experience (not that it wasn't already.. it's for the living, not for the dead.. the dead party certainly doesn't give a shit.. they're dead.) My point is.. if you didn't like the person when they were alive.. NOW is certainly not the time to start.

Anyway. She was a sweet lady, and while I didn't know her particularly well.. I regret the news of her demise.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
writersareliars:
frown That's terrible. I always think about how lucky I am not to have had anyone die who I've been close to or known personally. One can't know and love everyone, so I just do my best appreciating the people that are part of my life.

I agree with you about the responsibility for her child. I feel really sorry for the girl.
May 24, 2005
holy_mountain:
It's hard enough to lose your mom when you're only eleven but to find your mom dead must be tramatizing. Maybe she thought that she was a horrible mother and that her child would be better off with someone else raising her.
May 24, 2005

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