Tuesday Jul 26, 2005

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trying not to think about last week. Trying to get the big grey cloud out from over my head. Thanks ya'll for the warm thoughts and hugs.

for some reason this has made me think alot about my ideas on death, life and what's after.

Religon likes to think it has the answers, I think it'sjust a way too feel better by thinking that you have the answers. We will only know what happens when we die.. when we die.

and I wonder about the randomness of accidents. Did that little girl ever have a future? Or was she destined to die now, her time here over for now?

It also makes me think of how we never know when we will go. I heard the mother talking to her daughter 20 minutes before the accident about her birthday. She had no idea it was the last 20 minutes she would have with her daughter. It makes me think of how I don't want to leave a friend or loved one on bad terms. It might be the last time I see them.

I hate thinking like this... it makes me want to cry frown

did I mention that I am trying not to think so much?
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
synnove:
ahhh... i love love love the tako and ika drawings! and the geisha medusa!!! i've been trying to think up ideas for an octopus tattoo and a medusa tattoo for about a year now, and those just opened up a whole new idea pool for me. smile
_mike_:
death is a fucked up game that life plays on us . my mom died a few weeks ago , and while amy & I were on vacation this last week in O'ahu I watched a man dive into a pool at our hotel ( clearly marked with " no diving " signs ) and hit the bottom like a bullet , then float up to the top of the watwer and proceed to float across the pool twitching . just as i was telling amy that I think that guy must have hurt himself because " how the fuck is he staying underwater for that long . . . " someone else tried to get his attention and realized he was outcold , face down . well he was eventually okay , but it was fucked up and crazy to be there and watch it happen right before your eyes .

as for the little girl . . . she had her whole life in front of her , right up untill life interfered . I don't belive in destiny or fate . . . you live and get as much out of life as you can untill there nothing left , or you get ripped off and run into the back of a truck , or dive into the shallow end of the pool and bang your head on the bottom , or just dont wake up one day .

kind of sucks in a way , but if you take it all in it kind of rules .

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