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mrs_misha

Royal Oak, Mi

Member Since 2003

Followers 206 Following 158

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Friday Jan 02, 2009

Jan 2, 2009
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As I said in my last journal last year was pretty good to me and on the whole I was happy. but as the end came I noticed myself getting more critical of myself and others and getting really crabby. I had a bit of an epiphany while meditating this morning..
How we see the world is directly connected on how we are seeing ourselves and how we are feeling.
or ..................The vision of ourselves is the lens with which we look at the world


I know that this is a big DUH to most and I have known this all along, but I connected it with myself and others and our perceptions and it clicked into place how I can use this to make myself happier.

Earlier this year I was so happy in my job and in my life and when bumps in the road came up, I would just ride it out and not let it ruin my day. but in the last couple of weeks in particular I have let little things get in my way and I have found myself being critical of others and analyzing them. a very BAD habit from my past and one that I wish to never become a habit again. Earlier this year I would just see a friend who was irritating me and try to see why they we reacting the way they were and realize it had nothing to do with me and that they were going thru their own stuff and to let them get thru it and help if I could. Or if it was about me I would try and deal with it instead of being reactionary.

I was depressed when I got up this morning. I was thinking to myself , I know this feeling and I hate it,
Where is it coming from and how do I get that lighthearted feeling back?
What do I need?
I need to feel better about myself first and then the world will follow.
What will make me feel better about myself?
Eating healthier, getting exercise, making personal time for myself without any have to's, I think some meditation time each day might be a good idea, so I can sort thru my thoughts and get centered a bit.

I have alot of goals this year and really want to hit them. But I cannot let negative thoughts keep me from accomplishing them and I can't let other peoples bullshit drag me down. If I can help I will,l but other wise I can't let them drag me down with them.. I can no longer point out the silver linings to those only willing to point out the clouds. I must let them do their could gazing and get on with my life the way I wish to live it.

onward and upward here I go

VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
nementh:
Yeah, most everyone is going with the aliens on this one.
Jan 10, 2009
jaytan:
if I didn't sing "Shengri Kuaile" already to you, you're in for a treat.

If I did, well, that's pretty much what you're getting this year too. tongue
Jan 10, 2009

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