THIS IS MY ADULT RESIGNATION:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six-year old again. I want to go to McDonalds and think that it is a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think m&m's are better than money because I can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day, drinking away any chance of a profit. I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were "blissfully" unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair, that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited about the little things again. I want the worst pain to be a skinned knee or going to bed early. I want to not know about war and terror and idiots in office. I want my big-wheels back because I could do spin-outs and not get a ticket and didn't need an airbag and certainly not gas. I want to eat oreos and chocolate-chip mint icecream and not worry about diabetes. I want to know that South Beach...is just a beach. Beaches have warm waves and sand for digging almost all the way to China.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of a job I hate, mountains of paperwork, SO MUCH depressing news, doctor bills, gossip, illness, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, truth, justice, dreams, peace, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow. So... here's my checkbook, car-keys, and my bills! I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause TAG! You're it. biggrin
This was posted in SoPhast's journal and I had to repost it because I thought it was one of the best ideas... I too would like to resign, who do I give this to?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Thank you for your memo dated 3/17/07. However, we are exercising our right to respectfully decline your resignation and reassign you to a position more becoming of your recent change in attitude. From now on, you will be expected (but not instructed) to work longer hours for shorter pay, wear standard uniform attire and accompanying name tag, abide by more rules and endure harsher treatment with less appreciation and / or acknowledgement of your efforts.
Your office will be smaller with no windows, anticeptic lighting, and no ambient sound. There will be no acceptance of foul play, horsing around, shenanigans, tomfoolery, flim-flam, or goofing off. In addition to bearing responsibility for your car keys, checkbook, and bills, please accept this day-planner, pocket protector and pens, quick reference list of employee phone numbers, A/C adaptor, remote control, maps, CD-Roms, file folders, and list of preferred coffee drinks among your colleagues. You will be responsible for all the above-mentioned items and penalized should any of them fall into the wrong hands.
Now get back to work!
-The Management
ps - Please report to jaytan's office for a mandatory screening of "The Calimari Wrestler," and bring your colleagues MorningStar and Pam with you.