mrpoe1978

If you haven't had the esteemed privilege to attend a middle school/junior high recently and have been dying to know what goes on at one, you're in luck. Last night, I was in charge of the dance at my school. Here are some musings.

Many kids put a genuine effort into looking nice. Others wear dirty t-shirts and sweatpants. This makes for an interesting combination. At one point, emergency air freshener had to be procured from my classroom to defunk the photo booth and the spectacular haze of adolescent-boy mustiness. Another spectacular haze was the Axe that permeated the air. Some of them must go through a can of that per day. We had to ban that shit in the hallways at school, it got so bad.

Music-wise, there's not a lot of variety, sticking mostly to rap and R & B. I like a lot of it, but some variety would be nice. Because, you know, the music is totally for me at these. The DJ played "Nig*as in Paris." I love that song, but the editing wasn't very good, and I'd be shocked if the school didn't get calls on Monday. Like the kids don't say worse in the hallways. Unfortunately, "Baby Got Back" did not make an appearance (*crestfallen*) as they did play it at my dance last year. I love that song, but it makes me feel a little awkward to listen to it in the presence of middle schoolers. One of my students asked me to come to her group of friends and twerk with them. There were no slow songs. Those simply aren't played anymore. That's a shame, because it's so cute to see them dance awkwardly.

To finish this dispatch, I will leave you with a list. Each middle school dance I've chaperoned, which is quite a few, contains the following:

*at least three crying girls, usually walking/sprinting to or from the bathroom
*at least two separate boys who seem to be alone, wandering aimlessly
*no fewer than three breakdancers
*at least one Michael Jackson impersonator, at least dancing-wise. Last night's dance had an actual one, complete with sparkly glove, sunglasses, hat, and jacket. Yes, one of the students. WIN!
*kids chasing each other around the gym like squirrels in a park. These are often kids who refuse to run during GYM class.
*kids who essentially pay $5 to sit in the cafeteria, eat candy, drink soda, and maybe talk to friends.
*a boy or two or three being pushed by his friends to go talk to a girl.

Thanks for reading. I'll leave you with something I discovered today that I LOVE! If you understand why it's so clever and hilarious, I love you!