mro

I was walking up Queen Street in the rain today when something I stepped on made a crunching sound. I thought it was a Malteser but when I checked under my shoe it turned out to be a snail.

I was driving to pick up my Chinese takeaway yesterday when I happened to notice my milometer. I have driven exactly eight thousand and eight miles in my car.

8,008 miles.

It looks like the word BOOB

ha ha ha

We had a little 'bonding' session yesterday. The new dealing team from the firm who has taken us over decided to take my dealing team out for a few drinkies and a spot of dinner. We ate and drank, and drank and ate. They give the impression of not being so much of a bad bunch of people after all (famous last words, eh?).

At...
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I wonder if this comes in a Large ---------->

I have words on my back and I hope to put them to good use some time very soon. If you think that sounds surreal you should try feeding jelly babies to a hungry seagull and looking for an invisible fish which blends in with it's background before you even have a chance to look at...
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I got chased out of my bed last night....by a feather.

I shit ye not, a big brown feather.

The problem is, when I take my glasses off I literally can't see anthing. I differentiate between colours of fuzzy blobs. A face becomes a pink blob with two black blobs where I presume the eyes should be, that sort of thing.

So, I took my...
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Wow. I can't believe how remarkably drunk I got yesterday.

I took some clients to the Rugby Club again. Usual thing - watch the rugby, free food, free bar, back in to town, more alcohol courtesy of my expenses account.....

Somewhere along the lines we managed to lose a few stragglers but the few remaining people (just the usual 3 of us) lasted the entire...
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I wish......

*tap*


*tap tap*


*shake*


Hmmmmmmmmm


*flick flick flick*


I think I have broken my Old Fella. For some strange reason he doesn't want to play, no matter how many pics of naked chicks I look at. Is it possible to break your willy from too much wanking? I do have quite a strong grip after all.

Still, thank you for your input regarding my strange...
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I had a strange dream last night.

My eyes were bloodshot, but when I looked at them closely they weren't blood vessels in the white of my eyes it was a map of the London Underground in glorious technicolour.

Any offers of analysis?

Uh-oh.

I'm slipping.....