*sigh*
We had another office barbeque today. Good food, enough alcohol to fuck up my ulcer and I did a silly thing.
Very silly.
The girl I have a crush on. Remember her and what happened at the last barbeque? Well I managed to have a private chat with her at the end of the evening and I told her how I felt about her. We chatted for a bit in the hallway by the lift. She held my cold hands between hers and rubbed them warm. We hugged, a proper full-body long meaningful hug.
I learnt afterwards that she had a big arguement with her boyfriend last night. Now I feel remarkably selfish. Here I am, dumping more emotional stuff on her when she already has her own problems. It's not exactly what she needs right now, is it?
Anyway, I'm hardly great boyfriend material am I? I mean, if I was worth having I would have been snapped up long ago, wouldn't I?
Christ, it's like being 16 again. I still don't know if she likes me or if she is just being polite in the hope i'll go away and leave her alone.
I hate feeling like this. It's just not me.
We had another office barbeque today. Good food, enough alcohol to fuck up my ulcer and I did a silly thing.
Very silly.
The girl I have a crush on. Remember her and what happened at the last barbeque? Well I managed to have a private chat with her at the end of the evening and I told her how I felt about her. We chatted for a bit in the hallway by the lift. She held my cold hands between hers and rubbed them warm. We hugged, a proper full-body long meaningful hug.
I learnt afterwards that she had a big arguement with her boyfriend last night. Now I feel remarkably selfish. Here I am, dumping more emotional stuff on her when she already has her own problems. It's not exactly what she needs right now, is it?
Anyway, I'm hardly great boyfriend material am I? I mean, if I was worth having I would have been snapped up long ago, wouldn't I?
Christ, it's like being 16 again. I still don't know if she likes me or if she is just being polite in the hope i'll go away and leave her alone.
I hate feeling like this. It's just not me.
leola:
You probably really cheered her up - even if she doesn't immediately break-up with the BF to be with her true stock-broker shaped soulmate (fingers crossed) - she will feel wanted. And that is always nice.