Work's golf day today.
Most of the other people who came along actually play golf to a very good standard - they all have proper handicaps and golf visors n' stuff. I play just for the fun of taking my frustrations out on an inanimate object that can't hit back so I joined two girls and just hacked around the rough for a couple of hours (cue obvious jokes about MRO's threesome, putting from the rough with two girls etc etc).
It was actually a good laugh and, to a very small extent, I bonded with one of the girls I work with. That in itself is a major achievement because I don't normally play nice when I am at work and this particular girl has been reduced to tears on more than one occasion because of me. But we laughed, we hacked, we lost balls and generally had a good time. Incidentally, I wish to point out that I was not trying to 'pull' her because she is not my type and she is almost married. But it was just nice to......relax, and not have to worry about office gossip or who did/didn't buy a stock or just general worky shit.
An event at the golf club has, however, reinforced my belief that I wouldn't make a very good parent or husband.
One of the children was running around and fell over. He put his arm out to stop himself falling, landed on said arm and broke it. A proper break just up by the elbow - one of those where the bone sticks through the skin. You know the type. Anyway, all of the parents/married people rushed around, comforted, called ambulances, mopped brows. Me? I looked away because the sight of the bone made me gag and then I sat there, helpless, wondering what I should do. I didn't even think about calling for an ambulance. It's lucky someone else did.
So, for all my talk about how great I am with kids and how I wouldn't mind finding a girlfriend don't get suckered in to it all. I am only here if you want fun and happy things doing.
Right. I'm going to pick the large bogey clogging my left nostril and then i'm off to bed.
for the ladies
for the blokes
Most of the other people who came along actually play golf to a very good standard - they all have proper handicaps and golf visors n' stuff. I play just for the fun of taking my frustrations out on an inanimate object that can't hit back so I joined two girls and just hacked around the rough for a couple of hours (cue obvious jokes about MRO's threesome, putting from the rough with two girls etc etc).
It was actually a good laugh and, to a very small extent, I bonded with one of the girls I work with. That in itself is a major achievement because I don't normally play nice when I am at work and this particular girl has been reduced to tears on more than one occasion because of me. But we laughed, we hacked, we lost balls and generally had a good time. Incidentally, I wish to point out that I was not trying to 'pull' her because she is not my type and she is almost married. But it was just nice to......relax, and not have to worry about office gossip or who did/didn't buy a stock or just general worky shit.
An event at the golf club has, however, reinforced my belief that I wouldn't make a very good parent or husband.
One of the children was running around and fell over. He put his arm out to stop himself falling, landed on said arm and broke it. A proper break just up by the elbow - one of those where the bone sticks through the skin. You know the type. Anyway, all of the parents/married people rushed around, comforted, called ambulances, mopped brows. Me? I looked away because the sight of the bone made me gag and then I sat there, helpless, wondering what I should do. I didn't even think about calling for an ambulance. It's lucky someone else did.
So, for all my talk about how great I am with kids and how I wouldn't mind finding a girlfriend don't get suckered in to it all. I am only here if you want fun and happy things doing.
Right. I'm going to pick the large bogey clogging my left nostril and then i'm off to bed.
for the ladies
for the blokesVIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
I can't believe you reduce people to tears at work and watch childen suffer. I mean, obviously you are an evil capitialist money grabber stock broker type, but all the same you seem like a rather lovely chap.
Now, off to hug some trees.........