mrmuller

Well life sucks as usual. I still feel like shit, but that never changes.

Anyway, lets see whats going on. I have one more class till I can get my degree. After which I plan on transferring to a tech school, to do what? I have no idea. I don't know what I want to do, and I haven't for a very long time. I want to do everything, and yet... I don't want to do anything. I'm really just ready to curl up and die.

I've had to wear glasses for, God I can't even fathom how long it's been, seems like forever. I can't get any contacts that will work. I'm actually wearing some now, and the first time I wore them they turned my eyes bloodshot. So I'm giving them a second chance. Well my eyes aren't red yet, but they're still not perfect. They feel sort of odd, and make my right eye and side of my head feel weird. *shrug* oh well. I guess if this doesn't work I'll have to wear glasses for the rest of my life and try not to shoot myself in the fucking face. Just one more thing, one day my body's just going to give up.

I was incredibly bored and felt like drawing, so I actually did the portrait of Mary that I had planned on doing maybe a year ago. It's almost done, but mostly the hair is just roughly drawn in, and the shading isn't exactly done. I've never drawn long hair before, so it's pretty rough. And I've never drawn a girl before so that's hard too. For some reason a drawing simply can't be as pretty as the real thing. At least for me, it feels like a womans beauty is next to impossible to capture. And on that note, I've been thinking about doing one of Ember, and trying to somehow not make it an insult to how beautiful she is. I'm no artist, I don't know why I pretend to be. See, I hear a real artist doesn't like people to see his work untill it's done. A little piece of my Mary debacle.




So a friend of mine has been thinking about becoming a SuicideGirl, which I think is great for her, as long as she thinks it's great. She's a beauty, but she's a tad shy and doesn't think all that highly about her appearance. But I answered all the questions I could about the site and I think she's going to try for it. I just hope they accept her ok, I'm sure they will though... but I don't want them to make a liar out of me. And anyway, I'm sure if her friend does a good job with the photos, she'll get a set up pretty easy. I wish her much luck.

I guess that's all I really have to say for the moment.