mrmuller

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.

Of course I got the jibs, jives, and lectures from everyone, from friends, and from family, about going out to the clubs and stuff on my birthday, and about, "It's a gift from God that your 21st is on a Saturday". My cousin and my sister even. And I'll tell you what, that just doesn't work out for me. My cousin especially, tried to get me to go with him like twenty times, and I think he was disapointed when I wouldn't go. But I mean, that's what I do, disapoint people.

If it wasn't for disapointment, I wouldn't have any appointments.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to those who know me, but basically I ended up stayed home all day on my birthday, did some work and felt terrible. Later at night I got an upset stomach and started to get dizzy. I don't know if I was starting to get sick or what. But in spite of being alone and feeling awful, I'd be damned if I wasn't goint to have my first "legal to buy it" drink that night. So I made myself a large Tom Collins, and actually felt a little better. *shrug*

I slept most of the day today and felt really bad tonight, mentally and physically. I just don't know what I'm going to do anymore. What am I going to do? I hate me!

I'm feeling better physically for the moment, which only serves to make me feel worse mentally. But on the somewhat less dim side, one of my oldest friends is going to be in town for three weeks. So I'll have someone to be a loser with, and something to do besides homework.

Well I'm sure there's more I want to say, but I'm sure no one wants to listen to my sad-sack ramblings. I should be doing homework anyway. I'm feeling worse than usual, but in different ways. It's strange how my bad feelings are many, some worse than others. Ugg.