mrdeity

So yesterday before I go to karaoke, I talked to Jen for the first time in over month (I had a huge crush on her and she was kind of interested in me but she wanted to be single and not date anybody ). I had a book of hers that I wanted to return so I drop it off at her place and expect to be in and out of there in like a minute. Well I am there for at least 20 minutes talking about things and during that whole time I can't help thinking how beautiful she is and some of her qualities that I was so attracted to are really shining through. So now I am feeling down again (I was feeling really good about karaoke beforehand!) I did my best to be happy (or at least feign happiness) during karaoke but I am afraid that I wasn't the friendliest to everybody.

I feel exhausted right now. Emotionally and physically. I got about an hour and a half of sleep last night because I tossed and turned all night which really pisses me off and makes me sad.

I am thinking about taking a break from SG and SG related stuff to see if I can get my life back into some sort of order. I feel like right now I have nothing concrete and secure in my life to anchor myself to and get through the rest of the garbled mess.