mrdaft

The looming overhead
Drop
Let it all end
Take the place
Guilty pleasures
Gut rotted
ever want to die?




Ahhh, foolish me. These words I think to myself. I write for you and no one. Dreams are but just that, mirages created in the midst of night. I only wished for a passing a glance of the eyes.


So...what to actually say to those that do not listen. Nothing? Anything? Everything...who cares.

So you want to know....I rip off my face every night, blood is not so hard to wash out when you get used to it. Being mine own, I am. A little salt helps the wounds, it might sting but it works. Calls from the Valkrie...just take me home to fellow clan.

There are days that I don't understand anything...and I learn I fell for it, the trap. The deception of you. The lies were not told to anyone but me...ohh what can one heart do when it has decieved itself. Believeing in for a moment of Aesop, Grimm and Anderson. There is no golden swan with a egg that can save me. No princess at any window.

The Allusion of Illusion.
Let me seek out no more
Forever end this confusion
Brought to the inner core

Play no longer harpsicord
the ear waits for no voice
I am not part of the horde
We musicians said choice.

I count these endless stairs
walking away from chance
People join hands in pairs
choosing with whom to dance

Should I stand all by lone
Watching the feet move
held tongue to your tone
Thrust not, decision to prove

I chanced for your grace
Twas me in that thrall
soft touch upon your face
End, let this truly be all


About me? The things no one knows. I adopted a child when his mother died. I did it to protect the boy. To save him from the system. I did not want to see him fall into he cracks. To become just another face and number. He had an opportunity to go with his old neighbour...but she too was trying to screw him over. She wanted everything he owned...and would have left him with nothing in the end. The rest of his family? They too, not so great at that time...since then much improved. But then? They took the jewelry and the gems. They took her most expensive things...left him with nothing but a few pieces of furniture, though I do grant that they have gotten better (he now has a trust fund of 60K waiting until he is oldr) and what do I get and waht did I get? Nothing but the pleasure of his company until recently. He is now going on 20...and yes my profile age is correct. I adopted him when i was in my 20's he has been here for 4 years.

He is now moving out....to be on his own, actually with his gf....one of my last shackles to this city is gone..only a few more links until this chain is gone.

I wish the best for him, and hope that he has a great life...as I know this will be good-bye. He will not call, and he will not write. I just hope that he does not fall further in the gutter than he already has as of late.

SO there...that is a true bit of me....a piece that no profile info will ever be able to give to you.

Me..the schmuck, the guy who happened to be there at the right time and right palce to help a person out...and I gave up my freedom until now...

So if you ever wonder why I want to move, try asking a bird allowed out of it's cage why it wants to. Sometimes...just little times...sometimes...we all need to fly. I am being released out of cage, out of the personal thing I created...now I must call for some of my own time...my own space and I must find my own true place...no matter where it might be in the world.