mratreyu

Sigh.

I AM SO FUCKING HUNGRY. I had a smoothie that consisted of oatmeal, vanilla yogurt, peanut butter and milk. I have to lose 10lbs in 10 days so thats like a fucking pound a day! SHIT.

...

and my dad just cooked some breakfast.

More pills and whey protein for me please.

Sigh.

I like the idea of an everyday Christmas. I never intended to buy anybody's affections here at SG. I mean, working for Starbucks doesnt make me necessarily a millionaire yknow. Im just a regular joe earning an honest living like the rest.

But to tell ya the truth, being nice comes naturally to me. You treat other people with respect and you get it...
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I am so tired of this vanilla life. Maybe if I go away for a while that would change my whole perspective.

Its been looooong overdue too: the last place I went away for a vacation a real one as a matter of fact I think, was Williamsburg, Virginia. It was with my family and my then gf at the time. Everything was doing gr8...
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I am in the crossroads of my life.

I really, really, really, REALLY hoped that I would never have to experience this dilemma. But then again, it happened already and I am losing it fast. A downward spiral with no end at all.

...

Dammit. I guess this is growing up eh?

When life has forsaken me, let death move in and fill the void.

Went to the New Found Glory show @ Webster Hall last night. Eisley and Reggie and the Full Effect were there too.

Eisley sounded and looked fantastic. Ah, but what really caught my attention was Chantell on guitars. I never actually took notice of her much -- considering all I hear is Sherry this (from Willie) and Stacy that (I see her more in videos)....
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I work in the only 24 hr Starbucks here in Nu Jersey. Unfortunately, other than that, I spend most of my time there too.

I work graveyards = I sleep during the day = I hang out @ night on my days off.

More vampiric than emo dont you think?

I keep awake for a good couple of hours to do my business i.e. visit...
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Today I bury my friend.

My coworker - who always seem to have the answers to everything - says if I believe that Patrick's in a better place, I should be happy for him. Its kinda odd, to be happy, when the rest of us are mourning. I mourn because I lost a friend.

Note the "I."

Im an unselfish dude. But when I heard...
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Today I go to Patrick's wake. A sad day for me, a very sad day ...

He was the very first friend I ever had when I moved here . I was 16 and he was just a scrappy 11 yr old. Our moms were work buddies and were very close .... he made sure I adjusted to the ways here in Jersey.

Oh man,...
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Rest in peace Patrick.

I'll miss you homez.

West Coast for life.