Part 4 the last part.
This is all going to be short. This has been the hardest part for me to deal with. You are about to find out why. After this I have no idea if I will write more stories about me and things I have done. This seems like a lame crying for sympathy thing. That isn't what it is really. A couple people expressed intrest in what happened that made me so fuckin hostile toward relationships. This is my response. So, now that I have you feeling all sad for me after that last installment let me show you just how vile most females actually are. I will also show you just how disgusting most guys will be just for the piece of ass. Mostly this sad story ends here because next week is the anniversary of where #3 ends and I am not about to deal with typing this all out then. Next weekend I plan to go out to our summer place and close it up for a disguise. What I am really planning is going somewhere that noone knows me, renting a motel room and getting completely fucked up.
And away we go....
I hid this behind spoiler tags because it is rather long.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I moved in with my friend Matt when I sobered up. He was willing to move his computer stuff out of the second bedroom so I could sleep there. He knew the times I was was facing. No job, no family in the area, no car, hell i had no money either but he didn't care. That is a true friend. You go one foot in the gutter the other in rush hour traffic and a guy who hardly knows you sayin, Here man live with me.
I got a job with Tmobile. Customer Service Supervisor. It didnt pay much but it was something. I had to go downtown to pay a parking ticket or my licence was going to get suspended. I borrowed Matt's Jeep and drove downtown.
Downtown Tucson is not very big. If the streets were not so small in proportion to the number of cars you could drive through it in 30 seconds. I am sitting at a stop light and who is in the crosswalk across the street? You guessed it. But, wait WHO THE FUCK IS THAT??? Casey? Oh, they must be just hangin out, they are friends right? WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY HOLDING HANDS LIKE TEENAGERS FOR THEN? Son of a mother fucking bitch. That cocksucking ass fucking hole. there just aren't curse words for the human togue that fits the situation. Bahhhh fuck it if he wants to lose his wife that is fine by me.
Oh did I forget to mention that? Casey was married. Granted he and his wife were not on good terms but he was married. WHich brings me to another plot twist (read knife twist). The next day I find out his wife dies in a car accident. It seems her brakes failed and she slid in front of a semi. Well I'll be damned what a coincidence. Jesus Christ all I need now is for my friend Chuck to tell me that he knew this shit was going on but didnt have the heart to tell me. Shit that would make the soap opera complete wouldn't it?
I did what any good mechanicly inclined person would do. I went home and built a computer from old parts I had. SO there I am, Matt and I have a case of Amber Bock killed he is chatting with his gf on Yahoo, and I am going through files on the computer I just got running. It was the old chat computer from the living room and someone had been trying to spy on me but forgot to turn logging off.
MIrC opens a notepad file if you have logging on. time, dates, names and IP addies of the people talking. Look there is some where I am telling Matt about what we are doing next month. Look another where I tell Tammy there is no way I am dating her, I am just way too into Julia. But WTF are these ones from Casey. Wait that isn't my nick it's Julia's. Little sexcapades while I was at work eh? I was furious I had no idea what to do, I was just so hurt and pissed and hurt and sad and just really fucking hurt. I had to do something that would get the point across. I couldn't have them thinking I would take this.
I did something I will never regret. I took the mattress from my bed. the one I shared with her for 2 years. I took it to his house in Chuck's Truck. I burnt the mother fucker in Casey's front lawn. I pured Gasoline on it, lit a cigarette then dropped the match on the mattress. After that I walked across the street to Chuck's and watched it burn. Chuck walks up to me hands me a beer and we don't say anything for a while. You could hear the sirens. He says to me. You know, I knew this was going on, I didn't have the heart to tell you.
That day a part of me Died. This thing inside me that allowed me to trust people. Mostly women, a lot of men too. I looked at Chuck and said.
"It is time for me to move on man. I have to leave this city. I have to get so far away from this that it cannot touch me. I can never trust a woman I love around a friend that has a lot in common with me. I know that is wrong and it sucks. But, anytime I am in a situation like these two hand me in I will remember this moment. I will start hating the friend because of Casey. I will start hating the girl because of Julia. Both of those things are just wrong and ugly. They have jaded me as much as humanly possible and I will never be able to recover. the worst part of it all, I am 31 and I don't have time for it anymore."
