Never ask someone a question you are not willing to hear the wrong answer to. If you go around asking people if your ass looks big in those jeans someone will say yes.
Everyone at work decided they were going to Ed's house to party tonight. Ed turned to me and asked if I was going to come. I said no.
Stop there for a second.
If someone doesn't elaborate when I ask a question that requires a yes or no answer I let it go. If I say "You wanna go for a beer after work?" and you say "no." I say ok. I just walk away.
Ed asked me why. I said because I don't want to. Then he started pressuring me so right in front of all 8 of my coworkers I tell him....
"Because, I spend over forty hours a week with you guys. I have no desire to 'hang' with you guys. We have nothing in common but this job. You rarely understand what I am talking abou twhen I crack a joke, You never talk about things that are remotely interesting to me. What will that leave us all to talk about? Work. So on my day off you want me to come over to a sausagefest, drink beer and talk about what? Work? Fuck that. I would rather give head to a South American Pygmy Rat with a raging case of syphillus while getting fucked in the ass by a Montezuman Llama with a dick the size of an Anaconda."
There was dead silence.
So I say, "Thanks for proving my point. you didnt even get my joke."
So tell me would you go out on one of your nights off to a coworkers house you have nothing in common with and drink and talk about work?
Everyone at work decided they were going to Ed's house to party tonight. Ed turned to me and asked if I was going to come. I said no.
Stop there for a second.
If someone doesn't elaborate when I ask a question that requires a yes or no answer I let it go. If I say "You wanna go for a beer after work?" and you say "no." I say ok. I just walk away.
Ed asked me why. I said because I don't want to. Then he started pressuring me so right in front of all 8 of my coworkers I tell him....
"Because, I spend over forty hours a week with you guys. I have no desire to 'hang' with you guys. We have nothing in common but this job. You rarely understand what I am talking abou twhen I crack a joke, You never talk about things that are remotely interesting to me. What will that leave us all to talk about? Work. So on my day off you want me to come over to a sausagefest, drink beer and talk about what? Work? Fuck that. I would rather give head to a South American Pygmy Rat with a raging case of syphillus while getting fucked in the ass by a Montezuman Llama with a dick the size of an Anaconda."
There was dead silence.
So I say, "Thanks for proving my point. you didnt even get my joke."
So tell me would you go out on one of your nights off to a coworkers house you have nothing in common with and drink and talk about work?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Nobody here has the album except for me. The stupid thing is on import, and everybody thought they were dead. For not only knowing who they are but for also (possibly) owning the DVD that comes with "Monolithic, Baby!", you get an 'A++ and 50 gold stars!' (- Jack Black)
No, seriously though. You totally fucking rule, and that line was exactly why I felt so fuckin' Wyndorfinated.
[Edited on Sep 17, 2005 1:39AM]
Or I hven't been going to the right places. Either way, I'm livin' wrong.