SO Sioux. This story isn't about a salamander. This is my favorite bar story. If anyone doesn't get a kick out of this they don't have a sense of humor. But you can all thank Sioux for reminding me of this one.
I was sitting in our favorite dance club one night with Lou. My girlfriend had went to California for the weekend, with what I now know was another guy, but that is a different story. I was developing a trust issue and I probably shouldn't have been discussing it with Lou. See Lou is more jaded than I am. He was one of my coolest friends. I traded him a hooded long sleeve tshirt to dump this one chick. I woulnd up marrying her, that is an even different story. Stupid divorce.
Lou and I are sitting there at the bar. all our other frieds were around. Everyone came out that night. I hadn't been out with just the guys in forever and we had war the next morning. I am telling him about this guy friend that Julia has and how I don't trust him. He stands up and says "You know what you need? That hot college chick over there. I know how you are so don't argue with me. She is in cali, you are here and I bet that prick friend of hers is with her. For once in your life you are gooing to cheat on someone because it will be cathardic." And he walks off and starts talking to her.
The guy next to me starts talking to me about what just happened. He commented on how high strung Lou is and other shit. I am a relatively friendly person I will talk to anyone with an IQ greater than a tree stump. That is when I got a tap on my shoulder. I turned around with some choice words for Lou. "For the last time you dumbass....."
There she stood. Christine. She was a law student that was about to graduate. I bought her some drinks and we talked for a while. She was totally intosupporting her future family. She wanted her hubby to stay home with the kids and take care of the house, total role reversal. I found this intriguing. Then here comes Brian (another friend). "Hey Nick where is Julia?" Man I about stabbed him where he stood. He had that shit eating grin on his face. The bastard thought what he was doing was hilarious.
I had no intention of taking this girl home. I had no intention of anything leaving the bar. I would be damned if I was letting this jack ass cockblock me and get her though. I turn to him after he prattles on about my girlfriend and say. "Can't you see I am talking to the lady? Why have you gotta walk up and go all cockblocker on me? What if I wanted to do her behind Julia's back? And for your info Julia dumped me and ran off to Cali with Jason!" (The last one was a lie) How was that for a cockblock. Totally subtle and he didn't even know it until later. He stammered and stuttered professing innocence. Hell the chick even calle dhim a cockblocker. She got off her stool and go tin his face. Saying stuff like "Are you trying to get in the way of my piece of ass?" I was stunned. Laughing at him but stunned. He stomped off and all the lights came on. Closing time. I hadnt taken a piss the whole time.
I excused myself to the bathroom. I guess she hung out front waiting for me. I was in the bathroom waiting in line the whole time thinking "How the fuck do I get out of this?" I mean I really like talking to her. If I wasn't dating someone for going on 2 years it would be different. The whole cockblocker shit painted me into a corner. So i bit the bullet. I thought we could go to Lou's, which was right down the street from my apartment. We could get super drunk. Walk back to my place and then see what happened.
When I got outside there were all the guys waiting for me. I guess she got tired of waiting. It was only a couple minutes. Dodged that bullet. It was the closest I ever came to cheating on someone. I would have regreted that, even if it was Julia who got cheated on. Brian slammed me down on the hood of the car. He was pissed that I beat him at cockblocking. He was laughing though so it was all cool. I never saw the girl again either.
What I learned from all this? 1. I am not a cheater. In all seriousness if it came down to it I would not have slept with her. 2. Friends can be bastards but they know what to do to make everything right. Lou knew I wasn't going to cheat and he admitted he wouldn't let me. 3. Never cockblock me because I will call you out on it right there if i know you.
Cheers.
I was sitting in our favorite dance club one night with Lou. My girlfriend had went to California for the weekend, with what I now know was another guy, but that is a different story. I was developing a trust issue and I probably shouldn't have been discussing it with Lou. See Lou is more jaded than I am. He was one of my coolest friends. I traded him a hooded long sleeve tshirt to dump this one chick. I woulnd up marrying her, that is an even different story. Stupid divorce.
Lou and I are sitting there at the bar. all our other frieds were around. Everyone came out that night. I hadn't been out with just the guys in forever and we had war the next morning. I am telling him about this guy friend that Julia has and how I don't trust him. He stands up and says "You know what you need? That hot college chick over there. I know how you are so don't argue with me. She is in cali, you are here and I bet that prick friend of hers is with her. For once in your life you are gooing to cheat on someone because it will be cathardic." And he walks off and starts talking to her.
The guy next to me starts talking to me about what just happened. He commented on how high strung Lou is and other shit. I am a relatively friendly person I will talk to anyone with an IQ greater than a tree stump. That is when I got a tap on my shoulder. I turned around with some choice words for Lou. "For the last time you dumbass....."
There she stood. Christine. She was a law student that was about to graduate. I bought her some drinks and we talked for a while. She was totally intosupporting her future family. She wanted her hubby to stay home with the kids and take care of the house, total role reversal. I found this intriguing. Then here comes Brian (another friend). "Hey Nick where is Julia?" Man I about stabbed him where he stood. He had that shit eating grin on his face. The bastard thought what he was doing was hilarious.
I had no intention of taking this girl home. I had no intention of anything leaving the bar. I would be damned if I was letting this jack ass cockblock me and get her though. I turn to him after he prattles on about my girlfriend and say. "Can't you see I am talking to the lady? Why have you gotta walk up and go all cockblocker on me? What if I wanted to do her behind Julia's back? And for your info Julia dumped me and ran off to Cali with Jason!" (The last one was a lie) How was that for a cockblock. Totally subtle and he didn't even know it until later. He stammered and stuttered professing innocence. Hell the chick even calle dhim a cockblocker. She got off her stool and go tin his face. Saying stuff like "Are you trying to get in the way of my piece of ass?" I was stunned. Laughing at him but stunned. He stomped off and all the lights came on. Closing time. I hadnt taken a piss the whole time.
I excused myself to the bathroom. I guess she hung out front waiting for me. I was in the bathroom waiting in line the whole time thinking "How the fuck do I get out of this?" I mean I really like talking to her. If I wasn't dating someone for going on 2 years it would be different. The whole cockblocker shit painted me into a corner. So i bit the bullet. I thought we could go to Lou's, which was right down the street from my apartment. We could get super drunk. Walk back to my place and then see what happened.
When I got outside there were all the guys waiting for me. I guess she got tired of waiting. It was only a couple minutes. Dodged that bullet. It was the closest I ever came to cheating on someone. I would have regreted that, even if it was Julia who got cheated on. Brian slammed me down on the hood of the car. He was pissed that I beat him at cockblocking. He was laughing though so it was all cool. I never saw the girl again either.
What I learned from all this? 1. I am not a cheater. In all seriousness if it came down to it I would not have slept with her. 2. Friends can be bastards but they know what to do to make everything right. Lou knew I wasn't going to cheat and he admitted he wouldn't let me. 3. Never cockblock me because I will call you out on it right there if i know you.
Cheers.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I wish I would have been at the bar with you, I am all for putting people in awkard situations. Is there a word that girls can use for cockblocking? I have been "cockblocked" before and it sucks, but what really sucks is that you NEVER know what would have happened if you werent cockedblock...you say you may have not done something but what if the girl was all for it and pushy? (hehe I say this cause I am pushy, if I want something I can alwasy find a way to get it)
Every time the realtionship was about to end like the same week I got with someone else. Almost if I had ESP and knew that I would not be with this person anymore, even on one occasion that broke my heart I really had no clue he was gonna dump me and 3 days pior I played a dirty game of truth or dare, and ending up picking dare alot.
I think I dont like being alone, so I go and find someone right before I am about to be alone. Strange right?