comment and advice would be welcomed....this was my blog on myspace.
I'm sure a recent post by a friend probably had nothing to do with me , but the title of that post and a recent email from another friend really got me thinking, and about to tears.
Yes, I can admit I probably didn't handle the whole situation well, but with all that that person has inflicted on their family and friends, I still don't think I acted in a manner I shouldn't have. No, I didn't talk about the situation with them, nor do I want to now, but I continued being friendly with them, never raised my voice, said a cross word or ignored them. Fact is, had they not been asked about what was going on from the blurb I made on this site, they would probably not have known about how I was feeling at all. I blame myself for that blurb causing all this undo stress.
Among best friends, you sometimes agree to things, to help each other out, to watch each others backs. I feel I have went beyond this. If I was ever asked for help, whether it was to move, paint, clean weeds or whatever it was, I showed up. Heck I even often volunteered to mow. When I needed help, there was always something more pressing to do, like couldn't leave the dogs alone or was going to poker night. But I always overlooked it. That's what best friends do, i thought. When a spouse found out about an infidelity by the other, I stepped in to try to soften the outcome with hopes the marriage would survive. Which it has so far, but with the continued lying that has happened I'm surprised. And in this current mess that I've started, I'm amazed she has stepped up to defend her problemed husband so hard. But at the same time I feel very admirable about this, because more marriages need this. It shows me hope. If more spouses would have the desire she has, there may be fewer divorces.
But for the current situation, for me, there was a lot of alignances best friends have, that were broken. The making up of the whole him and I getting laid off was the biggest thing. Yes, I left that out of previous conversations. He told them, he and I were getting laid off. Did he mention that to you? And the fact that years ago, we agreed to tell each other if something was going to happen at work to either of us, if we heard it. That didn't happen, which really started me wondering what was going on. It is true there are a couple individuals there that hate him, but there are others who don't care for the way he does his job, and I have to listen to both sides and put out the fires, bite my lip and try to make them understand they still have to do the job. But I don't believe any of these people would make any of this up, no matter what other gossip they had heard, just to start something. Him trying to help his subordinates out with job prospects was a great gesture, but telling them him and I were getting laid off was wrong, and the fact I found out it was a lie really hurt me deeply. That isn't something someone does to a best friend. And now I feel the spouse has turned against me somewhat also. I didn't do anything but become angry and make a nondiscript comment. Yes my communication isn't acceptable, but I'm not the one telling constant lies. I do believe friendships and relationships are two way streets, but I am not the one going the wrong direction into oncoming traffic.
This whole thing has blown up way beyond where it was heading. No, I shouldn't have posted the status blurb that got this whole thing started. But I know I'm not the one who pulled the pin, and if loosing friendships is the cost for the mistake I made, then I will live with that. I just hope they can.
I'm sure a recent post by a friend probably had nothing to do with me , but the title of that post and a recent email from another friend really got me thinking, and about to tears.
Yes, I can admit I probably didn't handle the whole situation well, but with all that that person has inflicted on their family and friends, I still don't think I acted in a manner I shouldn't have. No, I didn't talk about the situation with them, nor do I want to now, but I continued being friendly with them, never raised my voice, said a cross word or ignored them. Fact is, had they not been asked about what was going on from the blurb I made on this site, they would probably not have known about how I was feeling at all. I blame myself for that blurb causing all this undo stress.
Among best friends, you sometimes agree to things, to help each other out, to watch each others backs. I feel I have went beyond this. If I was ever asked for help, whether it was to move, paint, clean weeds or whatever it was, I showed up. Heck I even often volunteered to mow. When I needed help, there was always something more pressing to do, like couldn't leave the dogs alone or was going to poker night. But I always overlooked it. That's what best friends do, i thought. When a spouse found out about an infidelity by the other, I stepped in to try to soften the outcome with hopes the marriage would survive. Which it has so far, but with the continued lying that has happened I'm surprised. And in this current mess that I've started, I'm amazed she has stepped up to defend her problemed husband so hard. But at the same time I feel very admirable about this, because more marriages need this. It shows me hope. If more spouses would have the desire she has, there may be fewer divorces.
But for the current situation, for me, there was a lot of alignances best friends have, that were broken. The making up of the whole him and I getting laid off was the biggest thing. Yes, I left that out of previous conversations. He told them, he and I were getting laid off. Did he mention that to you? And the fact that years ago, we agreed to tell each other if something was going to happen at work to either of us, if we heard it. That didn't happen, which really started me wondering what was going on. It is true there are a couple individuals there that hate him, but there are others who don't care for the way he does his job, and I have to listen to both sides and put out the fires, bite my lip and try to make them understand they still have to do the job. But I don't believe any of these people would make any of this up, no matter what other gossip they had heard, just to start something. Him trying to help his subordinates out with job prospects was a great gesture, but telling them him and I were getting laid off was wrong, and the fact I found out it was a lie really hurt me deeply. That isn't something someone does to a best friend. And now I feel the spouse has turned against me somewhat also. I didn't do anything but become angry and make a nondiscript comment. Yes my communication isn't acceptable, but I'm not the one telling constant lies. I do believe friendships and relationships are two way streets, but I am not the one going the wrong direction into oncoming traffic.
This whole thing has blown up way beyond where it was heading. No, I shouldn't have posted the status blurb that got this whole thing started. But I know I'm not the one who pulled the pin, and if loosing friendships is the cost for the mistake I made, then I will live with that. I just hope they can.