i am bitter.
i understand that it is wrong to be so.
no one is really cool. myself included.
it seems that i am grotesque. there can be no love without attraction of some sort. it was pointed out to me, that i am not allowed to be myself. i sincerely cared. i have baggage that i do not know how to rid myself of. i want to escape it, like most ppl. i want to be a hermit, because i know that will allow me to forget the baggage. until i can be forgotten. being ugly allows one to see truely how ppl work. i think my curse is also my gift. i understand that ppl only care about that which is attractive to them. there are things that ppl look at, like personality, values, but those only carry someone so far and mine barely carry me to friendship. i write as a relief from the pain. do not read this and think about me. i did not write it for you. i wrote it, to get it out. watching magnolia made me realize that ppl need to get their pain out, wether the pain is transferred to someone else or if the pain stays with them. it must come out eventually. without the attention and love, all things die.
i understand that it is wrong to be so.
no one is really cool. myself included.
it seems that i am grotesque. there can be no love without attraction of some sort. it was pointed out to me, that i am not allowed to be myself. i sincerely cared. i have baggage that i do not know how to rid myself of. i want to escape it, like most ppl. i want to be a hermit, because i know that will allow me to forget the baggage. until i can be forgotten. being ugly allows one to see truely how ppl work. i think my curse is also my gift. i understand that ppl only care about that which is attractive to them. there are things that ppl look at, like personality, values, but those only carry someone so far and mine barely carry me to friendship. i write as a relief from the pain. do not read this and think about me. i did not write it for you. i wrote it, to get it out. watching magnolia made me realize that ppl need to get their pain out, wether the pain is transferred to someone else or if the pain stays with them. it must come out eventually. without the attention and love, all things die.
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and thanks for the sweet comments
some people are the worker bees. some people have to be at the bottom of the social food chain. without peasants there can be no royalty. and so on
people like you and me built the pyramids