Have decided to stop pretending to be best friends with my ex, at least for now. I say "pretending" because I am still in love with her and want more (there I go again, always wanting more). I need some distance, but to keep from burning any bridges, I shall attempt to put a "keep alive" in place.
That's is a term I picked up working in software development. Sometimes a sysadmin would be running an application that would close a connection between two machines after certain amount of time. This is similar to a desktop machine "going to sleep" when not in use for a while. However, sometimes closing said connection can be inconvenient, because reestablishing it would take time and effort and generally be a pain in the ass. To work around this, the sysadmin would create a process, any process, usually something inane like one machine asking the other, "what time is it?" He or she would then schedule the process to run at intervals calculated to prevent the "sleep cycle" from kicking in, thereby keeping the connection alive.
I find this to be a handy analogy for certain relationship situations. In practical terms, it means I should contact her at scheduled intervals (say every couple weeks). Maybe have coffee. Maintain the connection with minimal contact. In this manner I can hopefully retain the option to be closer in the future, presumably once my lovelorn foolishness subsides.
The danger here is that I may to continue to reside in denial, thinking that as long as we keep in contact, we could get back together again at some unspecified point in the future. As is the nature of denial, it is very difficult for me to gauge how much I am under its thrall. It's a wait and see kind of thing.
Arrgh, am going nuts here.
That's is a term I picked up working in software development. Sometimes a sysadmin would be running an application that would close a connection between two machines after certain amount of time. This is similar to a desktop machine "going to sleep" when not in use for a while. However, sometimes closing said connection can be inconvenient, because reestablishing it would take time and effort and generally be a pain in the ass. To work around this, the sysadmin would create a process, any process, usually something inane like one machine asking the other, "what time is it?" He or she would then schedule the process to run at intervals calculated to prevent the "sleep cycle" from kicking in, thereby keeping the connection alive.
I find this to be a handy analogy for certain relationship situations. In practical terms, it means I should contact her at scheduled intervals (say every couple weeks). Maybe have coffee. Maintain the connection with minimal contact. In this manner I can hopefully retain the option to be closer in the future, presumably once my lovelorn foolishness subsides.
The danger here is that I may to continue to reside in denial, thinking that as long as we keep in contact, we could get back together again at some unspecified point in the future. As is the nature of denial, it is very difficult for me to gauge how much I am under its thrall. It's a wait and see kind of thing.
Arrgh, am going nuts here.