I return for a short while, before I depart again. Tomorrow around 3:30 I'll be heading out to Madison til sunday. I'm staying with Neil and saturday night, we're to attend the Madison SG party. I'm excited. My father, not very much so. I think he's been venting to my mother about this when I'm not around so when I am nearby, he doesn't blow up at me for being stupid and irrational about going so far away.. 
On April 21st, there's a mandatory meeting for all employees at work. In the 20 months I've been there, we've never had one of those; I'm supposing conditions are getting terrible enough that we need to be told that they know it's all going to shit. I'm one of five old-timers still remaining, the rest are new, and are honestly doing extremely shitty work. I just hate it when I'm being lectured with everyone else. They say that is doesn't apply to some of us, and we know who we are, and I'd be one of them I know, but I can't help but feel guilty and terrible about it and feel like I'm being scolded anyway.
With such a guilt complex, it'd be hard to believe I can let lies slip so easily as well. Anyway. I don't want to go. I did nothing wrong.
I still have a headache, though it's become a dull, faded pain that seems to have moved from the right side to the top, then over to the left. I'm stressed. Yay.
I had a change of mind earlier, that I don't want to go onto more school. I was walking out of the library today and it just sort of hit me that I really don't want to go anymore. It'll pass I'm sure, it always does, but for now, I'm in the negativity phase. Of that aspect in life? I'm negative all over everything else, it seems.
My sister picks up the cat tomorrow.
We've had fun times. He's worn me out, letting me chase him around the house and over couches and such until I'm out of breath. We sleep together in bed, and when I wake up at random times during my naps and the night and wander back in here, and onto the computer, if I haven't returned back under the covers after 5 minutes, he comes in here, sits next to me, and waits until I go back. Of course, he won't go unless I carry him. The devil. 
He slept on his back with all 4 feet sticking straight up. And he loves his belly being rubbed; the rougher, the better. He's getting a miniature gut. 
I decided I wanted to be an astronaut today, but I don't think they make spacesuits small enough for me. Sure, they have to make them so they fit each person perfectly, but I don't think any of their suit patterns would go small enough for me; I had to just daydream about it instead, and my daydream turned pretty horrid, and I died alone, stranded on an asteroid, waiting out the last of my days to die. There was alot of detail, because it was a slow day so I had time to think about it, but, I won't say anymore. It was almost..eh. 
I need to read more books. But not until I finish my 3 papers. Looks like I might never read another decent book again.
so take a ride on Haley's comet
just to find some other one to
share the isolation found
10,000 light years from the ground
On April 21st, there's a mandatory meeting for all employees at work. In the 20 months I've been there, we've never had one of those; I'm supposing conditions are getting terrible enough that we need to be told that they know it's all going to shit. I'm one of five old-timers still remaining, the rest are new, and are honestly doing extremely shitty work. I just hate it when I'm being lectured with everyone else. They say that is doesn't apply to some of us, and we know who we are, and I'd be one of them I know, but I can't help but feel guilty and terrible about it and feel like I'm being scolded anyway.
With such a guilt complex, it'd be hard to believe I can let lies slip so easily as well. Anyway. I don't want to go. I did nothing wrong.
I still have a headache, though it's become a dull, faded pain that seems to have moved from the right side to the top, then over to the left. I'm stressed. Yay.
I had a change of mind earlier, that I don't want to go onto more school. I was walking out of the library today and it just sort of hit me that I really don't want to go anymore. It'll pass I'm sure, it always does, but for now, I'm in the negativity phase. Of that aspect in life? I'm negative all over everything else, it seems.
My sister picks up the cat tomorrow.
We've had fun times. He's worn me out, letting me chase him around the house and over couches and such until I'm out of breath. We sleep together in bed, and when I wake up at random times during my naps and the night and wander back in here, and onto the computer, if I haven't returned back under the covers after 5 minutes, he comes in here, sits next to me, and waits until I go back. Of course, he won't go unless I carry him. The devil. He slept on his back with all 4 feet sticking straight up. And he loves his belly being rubbed; the rougher, the better. He's getting a miniature gut.
I decided I wanted to be an astronaut today, but I don't think they make spacesuits small enough for me.
Sure, they have to make them so they fit each person perfectly, but I don't think any of their suit patterns would go small enough for me; I had to just daydream about it instead, and my daydream turned pretty horrid, and I died alone, stranded on an asteroid, waiting out the last of my days to die. There was alot of detail, because it was a slow day so I had time to think about it, but, I won't say anymore. It was almost..eh.
I need to read more books. But not until I finish my 3 papers. Looks like I might never read another decent book again.
so take a ride on Haley's comet
just to find some other one to
share the isolation found
10,000 light years from the ground
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
Maybe the could fit you with a kids spacesuit?
-Josh
Did you get home okay? You haven't been on, I am kinda worried.
I hope you are okay.